Encyclopedia of Humor

Reasons The 80′s Were A Cooler Time To Grow Up Than The 90′s

10) MTV actually played videos in the 80′s.

9) There were only one kind of Nike tennis shoes (white with a red swish), and they didn’t cost $125.

A comb in your back pocket is more practical and less painful than a ring through your nose.

7) In the 80′s playing video games actually meant going out to DO something.

6) In the 80′s, when you were out partying, you didn’t have to worry about your Mom calling you on your cell.

5) In the 80s we didn’t have to worry about getting our heads blown off at school — unless you put a whole pack of Pop Rocks in your mouth and drank a coke.

4) Debbie Gibson vs. Britney Spears. New Kids on the Block vs. NSync. New Edition vs. Hanson. OK, that one’s a draw.

3) In the early 80′s there were kids in your high school who could BUY ALCOHOL LEGALLY.

2) Feathered hair was easier to care for than dreadlocks.

1) In the 80′s you didn’t have to worry about your pants falling down all the time.

10. He saved Luke’s life about a bizillion times

9. He’s cool

8. He helped destroy 3, count em’, 3 Death Stars (Read the books!)

7. He eats TIE fighters for breakfast

6. He’s cool

5. He has that stylish orange flight jump suit

4. “Look at the size of that thing!”

3. He’s cool

2. He can topple an AT-AT in his sleep

1. Yes you guessed it, HE’S COOL!

Why Star Wars Characters Would Kick Butt In The Star Trek Universe

10) In the Star Wars universe, weapons rarely, if ever, are set on “stun.”

9) The Enterprise needs a huge engine room with an anti-matter unit and a crew of twenty just to go into warp. The Millenium Falcon does the same thing with just R2-D2 and a Wookie.

After resisting the Imperial torture droid and Darth Vader, Princess Leia still looked fresh and desirable. After enduring Cardassian starvation torture, Picard looked like hell.

7) One word: lightsabers.

6) Darth Vader could choke the entire Borg empire with one glance.

5) The Death Star doesn’t care if a world is class “M” or not.

4) Luke Skywalker is not obsessed with sleeping with every alien he encounters.

3) Jabba the Hutt would eat Harry Mudd for trying to cut in on his action.

2) The Federation would have to interrupt whatever it’s doing just to attempt to liberate any ship named Slave I.

1) Picard pilots Enterprise through asteroid belts at one-quarter impulse power. Han Solo floors it.

10) Making prank “heavy breathing” phone calls

9) Sneaking up behind Star Destroyer crew members, covering their eyes, and demanding “Guess who?”

Practicing throwing Palpatine doll down pits

7) Genealogy

6) Using the force to learn to juggle

5) Mortal Kombat 5436

4) Using mind-reading ability to win at Battleship

3) Late nights with a pain droid

2) Sending anonymous love-notes to Mon Mothma

1) Checking Imperial Deli to see if they’ve named a sandwich after him yet

The engine’s being held on by duct tape.

You see the Gorilla from those old Samsonite commercials running loose up and down the aisles.

In-flight movie has “Ernest” in its title.

Pilot informs you that you’re at cruising altitude and he’s gonna put the top down.

Instead of Peanuts, you get a healthy helping of SPAM.

As you’re taking off, the stewardess mentions the phrase “Guest Pilot Program”

The seats are wet due to flotation device moisture.

The stewardess asks you to join the Mile High Club…”she” has a beard and bigger arms than you!

Pilot asks if there is anyone else who wants a shot of Beam before he finishes the bottle.

You look down and see a copy of “Fixing a Plane for Dummies” by the mechanic’s feet!!!