Encyclopedia of Humor

How can you tell if a blonde has been using a computer?The joystick is wet and theres white out on the screen!

Two blondes were planning to rob a bank.
The first blonde had a tendancy to be smarter than the second.

They went over and over their plans for the robbery and finally they headed out to commit the crime. They pulled up in their car in front of the bank.

The first blonde says to the second blonde, “Are you SURE you understand the plan?”

“Yes!” replied the second blonde.

So the second blonde gets out of the passenger side of the car and heads into the bank.

Time passes, and after 10 minutes the second blonde has not returned.
The first blonde gets very nervous.

Finally, out comes the second blonde from the bank dragging the safe behind her by a rope, and seconds behind her comes the guard with his pants down.

“No you idiot! I told you to blow the SAFE and tie-up the GUARD!”

Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City.

The Brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus.
The Blonde team rides on the top level.

The Brunette team down below is whooping it up having a great time, when one of them realizes she doesn’t hear anything from the Blondes upstairs.

She decides to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reaches the top, she finds all the Blondes frozen in fear, staring straight-ahead at the road, and clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.

The Brunette asks, “What the heck’s goin’ on up here? We’re havin’ a grand time downstairs!”

One of the Blondes from the second team looks up and says…
“Yeah, but you’ve got a driver!”

Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.Q: Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed?
A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A She gets the pop tart out of the toaster in one piece.

Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.

Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone.

Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she’s pregnant.
Q: What will she ask you?
A: “Is it mine?”

Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde’s life?
A: Third grade.

Q: What did the blonde get on her IQ test?
A: Saliva.

Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A: A dope ring.

< color="#c8ddf5" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Q: What is every blonde’s ambition in life?
A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.

Q: What is the mating call of the blonde?
A: “I’m “sooo” drunk!”
Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: (Screaming) “I said: I’m drunk!”

Q: Why are there so few blonde pharmacists?
A: They have a hard time getting the pill bottles into the typewriter!

Q: Why can’t blondes make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe.

Q: Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children?
A: Because she heard that one child out of every four born was Chinese.

Q: Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead?
A: Finger on chin-I don’t know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it!

Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A: From eating with forks.

Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
A2: So that when they’re on the train they can tell if they’re going to work or coming home.

Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because that’s where you’re supposed to wash vegetables.

Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby’s diapers every month?
A: Because it says on the box: “good for up to 20 pounds.”

Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.