Monday
Breakfast – Who can eat Breakfast on a Monday?
Swallow some toothpaste while brushing your
teeth
Lunch – Send your secretary out for six gutbombers
- those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime
but now cost sixty five cents. Also order French fries,
a bowl of chili, a soft drink and have her stop on the
way back for a family size bottle of Maalox.
Afternoon Snack – Drink the Maalox
Dinner – Six pack of beer and Kentucky fried chicken three-piece
dinner, dont eat the coleslaw.
Tuesday
Breakfast – Eat the coleslaw
Lunch – Go to the office vending machine and
put dollar and fifty cents in and close your eyes,
push a button and eat whatever comes out
swallowing it whole to prevent nausea.
Dinner – Four tacos and a pitcher of Sangria at
El Flashos.
Wednesday
Breakfast – Jaws couldnt eat Breakfast after
a night at El Flashos
Lunch – Rolaids and a coke
Dinner – Drop in at a married friends house
and beg for scraps.
Thursday
Breakfast – Order out for pizza
Lunch – Your secretary is out sick, check
Mondays gutbomber sack for leftovers.
Dinner – Go to a bar and drink yourself silly,
when you get hungry ask the bartender for
olives.
Friday
Breakfast – Eggs, sausage, and an English
muffin at McDonalds. Eat the Styrofoam plate
and leave the food. It tastes better and its
better for you.
Lunch – Skip Lunch, Fridays are murder
Dinner – Steak, well-done, baked potato, and
asparagus. Dont eat the asparagus, nobody
really likes asparagus.
Saturday
Breakfast – Sleep through it.
Lunch – Ditto
Dinner – Steak, Well done, baked potato, and
brussel sprouts. Dont eat the Brussel Sprouts.
Take them home and plant them in a hanging
basket.
Sunday
Breakfast – Three Bloody Marys and half a
Twinkie.
Lunch – Eat Lunch? Waste a good buzz?
Dont eat Lunch.
Dinner – Chicken noodle soup – Call home
and ask about renting your old room.