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Tons of Yo Momma Jokes




Yo mama’s so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her
good side.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she hauls ass, she has friends come help.
Yo mama’s so fat, I’ve got to tell two snaps just to cover her fat ass.
Yo mama’s so fat, she’s 36-24-36… but that’s her forearm, neck, and
thigh!
Yo mama’s so fat, she’s 36-24-36… but that’s in feet.
Yo mama’s so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the
other side to get her through.
Yo mama’s so fat, she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn’t
change.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she dances, she makes the band skip.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she walks across the living room, the radio skips.

Yo mama’s so fat, when she played hide-n-go-seek, she hid behind a water
tower.
Yo mama’s so fat, the horse on her Polo shirt is real.
Yo mama’s so fat, the horse on her Jordache jeans is real.
Yo mama’s so fat, she’s not kidding when she says “I’m so hungry I could
eat a horse!”
Yo mama’s so fat, on Halloween she says “Trick or meatloaf!”
Yo mama’s so fat, on Halloween she trick or treats two houses at a time.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she opens the refrigerator, it says “I give up!”
Yo mama’s so fat, when she opens the refrigerator, it says “Uncle!”
Yo mama’s so fat, Fat Albert gave her the rights to say “Hey, hey, hey!”
Yo mama’s so fat, when she ordered a “My Size Meal” at McDonald’s they gave
her a dinosaur.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she ordered a “My Size Meal” at McDonald’s they gave
her the key to the store.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she went to Burger King and asked for a Whopper,
they gave her the sign.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she works at the movie theater, she works as the
screen.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she runs she makes the CD player skip… at the
radio station.
Yo mama’s so fat, her belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion
machine.
Yo mama’s so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that say:
“Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama”
Yo mama’s so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the
milk carton.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she ran away, they had to put her picture on the
milk truck.
Yo mama’s so fat, you can’t even see her legs, it just looks like she’s
gliding across the floor.
Yo mama’s so fat, instead of Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levi’s 1002′s.
Yo mama’s so fat, instead of wide leg jeans, she wears wide load.
Yo mama’s so fat, she was in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade… wearing
ropes.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.
Yo mama’s so fat, she don’t wear a G-String, she wears an A, B, C, D, E, F,
G-String.
Yo mama’s so fat, she fills up the bath tub, and then she turns on the
water.
Yo mama’s so fat, she uses diet soap.
Yo mama’s so fat, she has to use a lawn chair instead of a Thigh Master.
Yo mama’s so fat, she went to sit down and the chair begged for mercy.
Yo mama’s so fat, all of her clothes have to be custom made by a
contractor.
Yo mama’s so fat, when I said I wanted “Pigs in a blanket” she got back in
bed.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the
doctor gave her 5 years to live.
Yo mama’s so fat, she doesn’t have a doctor, she has a grounds keeper.
Yo mama’s so fat, she doesn’t have love handles, she has a roll bar.
Yo mama’s so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
Yo mama’s so fat, she’s got smaller fat women orbiting around her.
Yo mama’s so fat, a picture of her fell off the wall!
Yo mama’s so fat, her picture takes two frames.
Yo mama’s so fat, I saw a picture of her in a magazine on page 4, 5, 6, 7,
and 8.
Yo mama’s so fat, when I yell “Kool-Aid,” she comes crashing through the
wall.
Yo mama’s so fat, she could sell shade.
Yo mama’s so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
Yo mama’s so fat, she’s larger than life.
Yo mama’s so fat, she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she crosses the street, cars look out for her.
Yo mama’s so fat, she puts mayonaise on aspirin.
Yo mama’s so fat, people jog around her for exercise.
Yo mama’s so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost.
Yo mama’s so fat, she’s once, twice, three times a lady.
Yo mama’s so fat, she gets runs in her jeans.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she was walking in her jeans I swear I smelled
something burning.
Yo mama’s so fat, I gotta take three steps back just to see all of her.
Yo mama’s so fat, her ass has it’s own congressman.
Yo mama’s so fat, she shops for clothes in the local tent shop.
Yo mama’s so fat, her favorite blouse is a tent.
Yo mama’s so fat, she deep-fries her toothpaste.
Yo mama’s so fat, her favorite food is seconds.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she stepped on a train track, the warning lights
went on.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she goes to the circus she sees the big top and asks
“Where can I try that on?”
Yo mama’s so fat, when she goes to the circus she takes up all the rings.

Yo mama’s so fat and old that when God said “Let there be Light”, he told
her to move her fat ass out of the way.
Yo mama’s so fat, even God couldn’t raise her spirits.
Yo mama’s so fat that she has TB… two bellies.
Yo mama’s so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts.

Yo mama’s so fat, the animals at the zoo feed her.
Yo mama’s so fat, when your father mounts her, his ears pop.
Yo mama’s so fat, “Place Your Ad Here” is printed on each of her butt
cheeks.
Yo mama’s so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she plays football she plays the interior line.
Yo mama’s so fat, she has to keep pesos in one pocket and yen in the other.

Yo mama’s so fat, when she wears heels, they’re flats by the afternoon.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she leaves the beach everybody shouts “The coast is
clear.”
Yo mama’s so fat, she wakes up in sections.
Yo mama’s so fat, her blood type is rocky-road.
Yo mama’s so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
Yo mama’s so fat, her college graduation picture was an aerial.
Yo mama’s so fat, her yearbook picture is an aerial.
Yo mama’s so fat, her driver’s license says “Picture continued on other
side.”
Yo mama’s so fat, they used her for a trampoline at the Olympics.
Yo mama’s so fat, she looks like she’s smuggling a Volkswagon.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she put on some BVD’s by the time they reached her
waist they spelled “BouleVarD.”
Yo mama’s so fat, when she auditioned for a part in “Indiana Jones,” she
got the part as the big rolling ball.
Yo mama’s so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu, and says
“Okay.”
Yo mama’s so fat, when she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said
“Sorry, we don’t do curtains.”
Yo mama’s so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn’t get a menu,
she gets an estimate.
Yo mama’s so fat, when I finished having sex with her and tried to roll
off, I was still on her.
Yo mama’s so fat, I had to roll over twice to get off of her.
Yo mama’s so fat, if she got her shoes shined, she’d have to take his word
for it!
Yo mama’s so fat, she’s got Amtrak tattooed on her leg.
Yo mama’s so fat, when the police showed her a picture of her feet, she
couldn’t identify them.
Yo mama’s so fat, she freebases ham.
Yo mama’s so fat, we got her in the drive-in free by dressing her as a
Chevy.
Yo mama’s so fat, she went on a light diet… As soon as it’s light she
starts eating.
Yo mama’s so fat, she’s on a new diet… slim slow.
Yo mama’s so fat, she ain’t on a diet, she’s on a triet… She be like
“What ya’ll eating? I’ll try it!”
Yo mama’s so fat, she went on a seafood diet… Whenever she saw food she
ate it.
Yo mama’s so fat, she could go a week without eating and still not lose
weight.
Yo mama’s so fat, she can’t lose weight, only find it.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she bends over we go into daylight savings time.
Yo mama’s so fat, she’s half Indian, half Irish, and half American.
Yo mama’s so fat, she got it goin’ on… and on and on and on.
Yo mama’s so fat, when I climbed up on top of her, I burned my ass on the
lightbulb.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she goes to an office, they tell her to pull up a
sofa.
Yo mama’s so fat, if she wears fishnet stockings, they’d better be 50 pound
test!
Yo mama’s so fat, the telephone company gave her two area codes.
Yo mama’s so fat, they have to run a relay race to get her belt through her
belt loops.
Yo mama’s so fat, she has to put her belt on with a boomerang.
Yo mama’s so fat, her belt size is the equator.
Yo mama’s so fat, she wears an asteroid belt.
Yo mama’s so fat, she has her own area code.
Yo mama’s so fat, her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a milk dud.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back
party.
Yo mama’s so fat, when I was done I rolled over, over again, and I was
still on top of the bitch.
Yo mama’s so fat, she can’t even jump to a conclusion.
Yo mama’s so fat, if she weighed five more pounds, she could get group
insurance!
Yo mama’s so fat, when she went to the Rose Parade they thought she was a
float.
Yo mama’s so fat, she went to Sizzler and got a group discount.
Yo mama’s so fat, she made weight watchers go blind.
Yo mama’s so fat, she wears a watch on each arm, one for each timezone.
Yo mama’s so fat n black, she jumped in the ocean and they thought she was
an oil spill.
Yo mama’s so fat, she has to wear a three piece bathing suit.
Yo mama’s so fat, she jumped in the ocean and the ocean jumped back and
said “I’ll wait my turn.”
Yo mama’s so fat, when she plays football she play offense and defense.
Yo mama’s so fat, her nickname is “Damn.”
Yo mama’s so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot-dogs.
Yo mama’s so fat, your daddy had to roll her in flower and look for the wet
spot.
Yo mama’s so fat, she broke her leg and gravy dripped out.
Yo mama’s so fat, I shot the bitch and Crisco came out.
Yo mama’s so fat, she DJ’s for the ice cream truck.
Yo mama’s so fat, I tried to fuck her doggy style but I was just ridin’
piggy back.
Yo mama’s so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to “Get
the fuck off.”
Yo mama’s so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her “Fuck it,
they don’t pay me enough!”
Yo mama’s so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her “Sorry, we
don’t do livestock.”
Yo mama’s so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it said “Please step
out of the car.”
Yo mama’s so fat, she stepped on a scale and she saw her phone number.
Yo mama’s so fat, the last time she saw 90210 she was on a scale.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she gets on the scale it says “To be continued.”
Yo mama’s so fat, when she steps on a scale, it says “One at a time,
please.”
Yo mama’s so fat, when she weighed herself the scale gave her an equation.

Yo mama’ so fat, she’s moving the Earth out of its orbit.
Yo mama’s so fat, Yo father didn’t know whether to fuck her or take the
burro ride down.
Yo mama’s so fat, no one can talk behind her back.
Yo mama’s so fat, I gain weight just by watching her eat.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don’t get wet.
Yo mama’s so fat, she’s got her own zip code.
Yo mama’s so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her as a
new world.
Yo mama’s so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
Yo mama’s so fat, she can’t reach her back pocket.
Yo mama’s so fat, she can’t wear Dazzey Dukes. She has to wear Boss Hoggs.

Yo mama’s so fat, she has to iron her pants on the driveway.
Yo mama’s so fat, her tailor takes her measurements in light years.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she comes down the stairs she measures on the
Richter scale.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she even orders “Thank
You, Come Again.”
Yo mama’s so fat, she eats biscuits like tic tacs.
Yo mama’s so fat, she don’t eat Wheat Thins, she eats Wheat Thicks.
Yo mama’s so fat, she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama’s so fat, when yo father fell in love with her he got lost.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she swims, she leaves stretch marks on the swimming
pool.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she gets out of the car, she leaves stretch marks.

Yo mama’s so fat, she leaves stretch marks on the bathtub.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she fills up the tub, she fills up the tub.
Yo mama’s so fat, she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and
oh-my-god-it’s-coming-towards-us!
Yo mama’s so fat, she got hit by a truck and asked “Who threw that rock?”

Yo mama’s so fat, she has to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.

Yo mama’s so fat, she has more nooks and crannies than a Thomas’ English
Muffin.
Yo mama’s so fat, she has to buy two airline tickets.
Yo mama’s so fat, she eats pumpkin pies like Skittles.
Yo mama’s so fat, when the cashier at KFC asked what size bucket she
wanted, she said the one on the roof.
Yo mama’s so fat, she has to grease her hands to get into her pockets.
Yo mama’s so fat, she has two stomachs: One for meat, one for vegetables.

Yo mama’s so fat, she masturbates reading cookbooks.
Yo mama’s so fat, the shadow of her ass weighs 50 pounds.
Yo mama’s so fat, even her shadow has stretch marks.
Yo mama’s so fat, she needs a roadmap to find her ass.
Yo mama’s so fat, she fell in the Grand Canyon and got stuck.
Yo mama’s so fat, she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
Yo mama’s so fat, she jumped for joy and got stuck.
Yo mama’s so fat, she measures 36 24 36, and the other arm is just as big.

Yo mama’s so fat, the earth orbits around her instead of the sun.
Yo mama’s so fat, NASA orbits satellites around her.
Yo mama’s so fat, NASA is going to use her to fill the hole in the ozone
layer.
Yo mama’s so fat, she plays hopscotch like this: LA, Detroit, Seattle, NY.

Yo mama’s so fat, when she went to a dating service, they matched her up
with Detroit.
Yo mama’s so fat, I saw her in New York, and when I told my friend in LA,
he’d seen her too.
Yo mama’s so fat, after she got off the carousel, the horse limped for a
week.
Yo mama’s so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
Yo mama’s so fat, she looks like the Stay-Puff marshmallow man on steroids.

Yo mama’s so fat, she sat on the corner and the police came & said “Break
it up!”
Yo mama’s so fat, she can’t just work one corner, she has to work all four.

Yo mama’s so fat, she sat on a dollar and made change.
Yo mama’s so fat, she sat on four quarters and made a dollar.
Yo mama’s so fat, her car is made out of spandex.
Yo mama’s so fat, she has to get out of the car to change the radio
station.
Yo mama’s so fat, she has to get out of the car to change gears.
Yo mama’s so fat, she got a “speed pass” for Dairy Queen.
Yo mama’s so fat, she shows up on radar.
Yo mama’s so fat, she stood in front of the Hollywood sign and it just said
H d.
Yo mama’s so fat, she had to roll over 4 times just to get an even tan.
Yo mama’s so fat, she tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out.

Yo mama’s so fat, she uses hula hoops to hold up her socks.
Yo mama’s so fat, she wears a hula-hoop for a belly-button ring.
Yo mama’s so fat, she uses a mattress for a maxi-pad.
Yo mama’s so fat, she uses a pillow case as a sock.
Yo mama’s so fat, her skates went flat.
Yo mama’s so fat, her belly button doesn’t have lint, it has sweaters.
Yo mama’s so fat, she wears a VCR for a beeper.
Yo mama’s so fat, she fell off a boat and the captain yelled “Land Ho!”
Yo mama’s so fat, she sat on a rowing machine and it sank.
Yo mama’s so fat, she went to a Chinese Restaurant and ordered a 40oz. of
gravy.
Yo mama’s so fat, she has 48 midnight snacks.
Yo mama’s so fat, she’s on both sides of the family.
Yo mama’s so fat, she can’t tie her own shoes.
Yo mama’s so fat, she eats cereal out of a satellite dish.
Yo mama’s so fat, she sat in Big Foot and made it a lowrider.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she got on the bus she turned it into a low rider.

Yo mama’s so fat, when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she walks down the street everyone yells
“Earthquake!”
Yo mama’s so fat, when she walks down the street, you can hear her hips
saying to each other “If you let me by, I’ll let you pass.”
Yo mama’s so fat, when she walks in front of the T.V., you miss 5 minutes
of your show.
Yo mama’s so fat, the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is
the door.
Yo mama’s so fat, the only thing she lost at Jenny Craig was $29.95.
Yo mama’s so fat, Jenny Craig did a credit check.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she volunteered to clean cages at the zoo, people
walked by and said “Look at the elephant!”
Yo mama’s so fat, the highway patrol made her wear a “Caution! Wide Turn”
sign.
Yo mama’s so fat, she sat on an Oreo and unlocked the magic.
Yo mama’s so fat, they had to baptize her at Sea World.
Yo mama’s so fat, last time she went to Sea World Shamu got a hard on.
Yo mama’s so fat, she jumed in da ocean and the whales started singing “We
are family!”
Yo mama’s so fat, when I have sex with her I have to slap her ass and ride
the wave in.
Yo mama’s so fat, they changed my Physics book to say “What goes up must
come down, except Yo mama.”
Yo mama’s so fat, they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping.

Yo mama’s so fat, she bungee jumped and went straight to hell.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too.
Yo mama’s so fat, she uses a kiddie slide for a shoe horn.
Yo mama’s so fat, she uses blanket as a washcloth.
Yo mama’s so fat, when her beeper went off, people thought she was backing
up.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she goes to the beach, little kids yell “Free Willy,
Free Willy.”
Yo mama’s so fat, as a kid, she couldn’t play Hide-n-seek, just seek.
Yo mama’s so fat, she makes Free Willy look like a Tic-Tac.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she backs up she beeps.
Yo mama’s so fat, she plays pool with the planets.
Yo mama’s so fat, she’s taller lying down.
Yo mama’s so fat, the body snatchers called home for backup.
Yo mama’s so fat, the only thing she can fit into at the clothing store is
the dressing rooms.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she fell down the stairs, she rocked herself asleep
trying to get up again.
Yo mama’s so fat, she has to use sleeping bags for tube socks.
Yo mama’s so fat, they had to install speed bumps at the all-u-can-eat
buffet.
Yo mama’s so fat, she pulls up a chair to an all-u-can-eat buffet.
Yo mama’s so fat, when it says all-u-can-eat it still ain’t enough.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the
house.
Yo mama’s so fat, you can pinch an inch on her forehead.
Yo mama’s so fat, you can smack it up, flip it, and rub it down all at the
same time.
Yo mama’s so fat, you could go swimming in her bra.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she sits on my face I can’t hear the stereo.
Yo mama’s so fat, on a scale of 1 to 10, she’s a 747.
Yo mama’s so fat, she has a greater gravitational attraction than a black
hole.
Yo mama’s so fat, she uses the carpet as a blanket.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she wears corduroy pants, the ridges don’t show.
Yo mama’s so fat, she made Richard Simmons cry.
Yo mama’s so fat, even Richard Simmons laughs at her.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she saw a yellow bus going down the road she yelled
“Hey! Stop that Twinkie.”
Yo mama’s so fat, when she wears a red dress people yell “Hey Kool-Aid
Man.”
Yo mama’s so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people call her “Taxi!”

Yo mama’s so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, kids think its the
school bus.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she wears a purple sweater people call her “Barney.”

Yo mama is so fat, when she sits in a chair, the rolls on her legs, cover
her feet like a blanket.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to drag her
ass back in the water.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she went to get a water bed, they put a blanket
across Lake Michigan.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittle’s fell out.
Yo mama’s so fat, and you’re so poor, when she comes in your house the
tires pop.
Yo mama’s so fat, she don’t know wether she’s walking or rolling.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she tiptoes, everyone yells “Stampede!”
Yo mama’s so fat, she get’s her toenails painted at Earl Schieb’s.
Yo mama’s so fat, but I fucked her anyway.
Yo mama’s so fat, when I tried to fuck her I didn’t know if I was hitting
the hole or a roll.
Yo mama’s so fat, when my dog went to fuck her he had to peel too many fat
rolls and said “Fuck It.”
Yo mama’s so fat, when she fart the whole planet came out.
Yo mama’s so fat, she makes sumo wrestlers look anerexic.
Yo mama’s so fat, her car is made of spandex.
Yo mama’s so fat, we’re inside her right now.
Yo mama’s so fat, she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck.
Yo mama’s so fat, one day when she got in a fight the person fighting her
got lost in her.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she wore a shirt with an AA on it, people thought it
was American Airlines biggest jet.
Yo mama’s so fat, if she were an airplane, she’d be a jumbo jet.
Yo mama’s so fat, one day she was lifting up her rolls and a car fell out.

Yo mama’s so fat, Dr. Martens had to kill 3 cows just to make her a pair of
shoes.
Yo mama’s so fat, she can’t stay on a basketball court for three seconds
without getting called for a key violation.
Yo mama so fat that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step.
Yo mama’s so fat, all the chairs in her house have seatbelts.
Yo mama’s so fat, she smells like bacon at 90 degrees.
Yo mama’s so fat, and her back is so crooked, when she lays down…people
say “I didn’t know we had mountains.”
Yo mama’s so fat, when she travels, she’s gotta make two trips.
Yo mama’s so fat, God created her, and on tHe seventh day he rested.
Yo mama’s so fat, they call her “Big Fat Ho.”
Yo mama’s so fat, when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.

Yo mama’s so fat, when she was born, she didn’t get a birth certificate,
she got blue prints.
Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo.
Yo mama’s so big, they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she
was walking or rolling.
Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker.
Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses.
Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing
on her back.
Yo mama’s so big, she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.
Yo mama’s so big, she reached in her pocket and handed me a CD, a Compact
Dishwasher.
Yo mama’s so big, when you climb on top of her your ears pop.
Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.
Yo mama’s so big, when she bent down to tie her shoes, her face got burnt
from re-entry.
Yo mama’s so big, she whistles bass.
Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling balls for earrings.
Yo mama’s so big, that they had to change “One size fit’s all” to “One size
fits most”
Yo mama’s so big, when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly
they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.
Yo mama’s so big, when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!
Yo mama’s so big, when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the
tide.
Yo mama’s so big, when she stands up the sun goes out.

Yo mama’s so stupid, she spent twenty minutes lookin’ at an orange juice
box because it said “concentrate”.
Yo mama’s so stupid, I put a Scratch-N’-Sniff sticker on the bottom of the
pool and she drowned.
Yo mama’s so stupid, I asked her do tricks for me and she wagged her tail.

Yo mama’s so stupid, she has 1 toe & bought a pair of flip flops
Yo mama’s so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to
makeup her mind.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she asked me what yield meant. I said “Slow down” and
she said “What… does…. yield… mean?”
Yo mama’s so stupid, she broke her neck at a flashing red light.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she put a phone up her ass and thought she was making
a booty call.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your
house.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she put on her glasses to watch 20/20.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she climbed over a glass wall to see what was behind
it.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thought Grape Nuts was an STD.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she climbed a chain link fence to see what was on the
other side.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she got stabbed in a shoot-out.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she took a knife to a drive-by shooting.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she failed a survey.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say
go.
Yo mama’s so stupid, I told her I was reading a book by Homer and she asked
if I had anything written by Bart.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she gave birth to you.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building,
but she got lost on the way down.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she tried to commit suicide by jumping out of the
basement window.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she needs twice as much sense to be a half-wit.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she told me to meet her at the corner of “Walk” and
“Don’t Walk.”
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thought brownie points were coupons for a bake
sale.
Yo mama’s so stupid, when the computer said “Press any key to continue”,
she couldn’t find the ‘Any’ key.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thought Tupac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.
Yo mama’s so stupid, when I was drowning and yelled for a life saver, she
said “Cherry or grape?”
Yo mama’s so stupid, she sat in a tree house because she wanted to be a
branch manager.
Yo mama’s so stupid, when I told her to squeal like a pig, she said “Moo!”

Yo mama’s so stupid, I saw her jumping up and down, asked what she was
doing, and she said she drank a bottle of medicine and forgot to shake it.

Yo mama’s so stupid, her latest invention was a glass hammer.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she saw a billboard that said “Dodge Trucks” and she
started ducking through traffic.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she died from boiling water in the toaster.
Yo mama’s so stupid, when she locked her keys in the car, it took her all
day to get Yo family out.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she got locked out of a convertible car with the top
down.
Yo mama’s so stupid, when she threw a grenade at me I pulled the pin and
threw it back.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she took you to the drive-in to see “Closed for the
season.”
Yo mama’s so stupid, when she pulled into the drive-thru at McDonald’s, she
drove through the window.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she was on the corner with a sign that said “Will eat
for food.”
Yo mama’s so stupid, she got on an elevator and thought it was a mobile
home.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she got locked in Furniture World and slept on the
floor.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she got shoved in an oven and froze to death.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thinks fruit punch is a gay boxer.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she brought a cup to the movie “Juice.”
Yo mama’s so stupid, she got locked in a meat locker and sweat to death.
Yo mama’s so stupid, when your dad fucked her she said “Doesn’t it go in my
mouth?”
Yo mama’s so stupid, she leaves the house for the Home Shopping Network.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she tried to put M&M’s in order.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she peals M&M’s to make chocolate chip cookies.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she uses Old Spice for cooking.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she threw a rock the ground and missed.
Yo mama’s so stupid, her breasts are square cuz she forgot to take the
Kleenex out of the box.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she sat on the TV & watched the couch.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she went to the store to buy a color TV and asked what
colors they had.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thought St. Ides was a Catholic church.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thought St. Ides was an island in the Caribbean.

Yo mama’s so stupid, she thinks sexual battery is something in a dildo.
Yo mama’s so stupid, the first time she used a vibrator, she cracked her
two front teeth.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she went to the Gap to get her teeth fixed.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
Yo mama’s so stupid, I saw her walking down the street yelling into an
envelope, asked what she was doing, and she said sending a voice mail.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she was on the corner giving out potato chips yellin’
“Free Lays!”
Yo mama’s so stupid, she tried to throw a bird off a cliff.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she tried to drown a fish.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thought menopause was a button on the VCR.
Yo mama’s so stupid, when she worked at McDonald’s and someone ordered
small fries, she said “Hey Boss, all the small one’s are gone.”
Yo mama’s so stupid, her shirt says TGIF- tits go in first.
Yo mama’s so stupid, her shoes say TGIF- toes go in front.
Yo mama’s so stupid, if brains were dynamite, she wouldn’t have enough to
blow her nose.
Yo mama’s so stupid, if brains were gas she wouldn’t have enough to power a
flea-mobile around the inside of a Froot Loop.
Yo mama’s so stupid, when they said they were playing craps she went and
got toilet paper.
Yo mama’s so stupid, when I asked her if she wanted to play one on one, she
said “Ok, but what’s the teams?”
Yo mama’s so stupid, she tried to melt squeeze Parkay.
Yo mama’s so stupid, when she took you to the airport and a sign said
“Airport Left,” she turned around and went home.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she put a ruler on her pillow to see how long she
slept.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
Yo mama’s so stupid, I said give me a quarterback and she gave me Dan
Marino.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she was locked in a grocery store and starved to
death.
Yo mama’s so stupid, if you gave her a penny for her intelligence you’d get
change.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she ran outside with a purse because she heard there
was change in the weather.
Yo mama’s so stupid, they had to burn the school down to get her out of 3rd
grade.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she couldn’t tell which way an elevator was going if I
gave her two guesses.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she wouldn’t know up from down if she had three
guesses.
Yo mama’s so stupid, when her husband lost his marbles she bought him new
ones.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thinks Tiger Woods is a forest.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thought the internet was something you catch fish
with.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she tried to mail a letter with food stamps.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thought she could get food stamps at the post
office.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she tried to drown herself in a carpool.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thought a lawsuit was something you wear to court.

Yo mama’s so stupid, when the judge said “Order in the court,” she said
“I’ll have a hamburger and a Coke.”
Yo mama’s so stupid, she went to Burger King and thought she was a queen.

Yo mama’s so stupid, she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.
Yo mama’s so stupid that under “Education” on her job application, she put
“Hooked on Phonics.”
Yo mama’s so stupid, she cooked her own complimentary breakfast.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she had Dan Quayle check her spelling.
Yo mama’s so stupid, when asked what a pronoun was, she said a noun that
gets paid.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she got hit by a cup and told the police that she got
mugged.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet!
Yo mama’s so stupid, she thinks socialism means partying!
Yo mama’s so stupid, she tripped over a cordless phone.
Yo mama’s so stupid, she tried to strangle herself with a cordless phone.

Yo mama’s so stupid, when asked on an application, “Sex?”, she marked, “M,
F, and sometimes Wednesday too.”
Yo mama’s so stupid, when she read on her job application to not write
below the dotted line, she put “O.K.”
Yo mama’s so stupid, at bottom of application where it says Sign Here – she
put Sagittarius.

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