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The Evolution of a Programmer




I’m sure you’ve seen this before, but it’s a MUST HAVE on any humor website.

High School/Jr.High

  10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"  20 END

First year in College

program Hello(input, output)

     begin

writeln('Hello World')    end.

Senior year in College

  (defun hello
    (print
      (cons 'Hello (list 'World))))

New professional

  #include <stdio.h>  void main(void)

{    char *message[] = {"Hello ", "World"};

int i;    for(i = 0; i < 2; ++i)      printf("%s", message[i]);

printf("\n");  }

Seasoned professional

#include <iostream.h>

   #include <string.h>  class string

{

private:    int size;

char *ptr;string() : size(0), ptr(new char[1]) { ptr[0] = 0; }

string(const string &s) : size(s.size)    {

ptr = new char[size + 1];      strcpy(ptr, s.ptr);

}~string()

{      delete [] ptr;

}friend ostream &operator <<(ostream &, const string &);

string &operator=(const char *);  };

ostream &operator<<(ostream &stream, const string &s)  {    return(stream << s.ptr);  }string &string::operator=(const char *chrs)

{    if (this != &chrs)

{      delete [] ptr;

size = strlen(chrs);

ptr = new char[size + 1];

strcpy(ptr, chrs);

}

return(*this);

}

int main()

{

string str;

str = "Hello World";

cout << str << endl;

return(0);

}

Master Programmer

 

  [  uuid(2573F8F4-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820)

]

library LHello

{

// bring in the master library

importlib("actimp.tlb");

importlib("actexp.tlb");      // bring in my interfaces

#include "pshlo.idl"

[

uuid(2573F8F5-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820)

]

cotype THello

{

interface IHello;

interface IPersistFile;

};

};

[

exe,

uuid(2573F890-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820)

]

module CHelloLib

{

// some code related header files

importheader(<windows.h>);

importheader(<ole2.h>);

importheader(<except.hxx>);

importheader("pshlo.h");

importheader("shlo.hxx");

importheader("mycls.hxx");

// needed typelibs

importlib("actimp.tlb");

importlib("actexp.tlb");

importlib("thlo.tlb");

[

uuid(2573F891-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820),

aggregatable

]

coclass CHello

{

cotype THello;

};

};

#include "ipfix.hxx"

extern HANDLE hEvent;

class CHello : public CHelloBase

{

public:

IPFIX(CLSID_CHello);

CHello(IUnknown *pUnk);

~CHello();

HRESULT  __stdcall PrintSz(LPWSTR pwszString);

private:

static int cObjRef;

};

#include <windows.h>

#include <ole2.h>

#include <stdio.h>

#include <stdlib.h>

#include "thlo.h"

#include "pshlo.h"

#include "shlo.hxx"

#include "mycls.hxx"

int CHello::cObjRef = 0;

CHello::CHello(IUnknown *pUnk) : CHelloBase(pUnk)

{

cObjRef++;

return;

}

HRESULT  __stdcall  CHello::PrintSz(LPWSTR pwszString)

{

printf("%ws

", pwszString);

return(ResultFromScode(S_OK));

}

CHello::~CHello(void)

{

// when the object count goes to zero, stop the server

cObjRef--;

if( cObjRef == 0 )

PulseEvent(hEvent);

return;

}

#include <windows.h>

#include <ole2.h>

#include "pshlo.h"

#include "shlo.hxx"

#include "mycls.hxx"

HANDLE hEvent;

int _cdecl main(

int argc,

char * argv[]

) {

ULONG ulRef;

DWORD dwRegistration;

CHelloCF *pCF = new CHelloCF();

hEvent = CreateEvent(NULL, FALSE, FALSE, NULL);

// Initialize the OLE libraries

CoInitializeEx(NULL, COINIT_MULTITHREADED);

CoRegisterClassObject(CLSID_CHello, pCF, CLSCTX_LOCAL_SERVER,

REGCLS_MULTIPLEUSE, &dwRegistration);

// wait on an event to stop

WaitForSingleObject(hEvent, INFINITE);

// revoke and release the class object

CoRevokeClassObject(dwRegistration);

ulRef = pCF->Release();

// Tell OLE we are going away.

CoUninitialize();

return(0); }

extern CLSID CLSID_CHello;

extern UUID LIBID_CHelloLib;

CLSID CLSID_CHello = { /* 2573F891-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820 */

0x2573F891,

0xCFEE,

0x101A,

{ 0x9A, 0x9F, 0x00, 0xAA, 0x00, 0x34, 0x28, 0x20 }

};

UUID LIBID_CHelloLib = { /* 2573F890-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820 */

0x2573F890,

0xCFEE,

0x101A,

{ 0x9A, 0x9F, 0x00, 0xAA, 0x00, 0x34, 0x28, 0x20 }

};

#include <windows.h>

#include <ole2.h>

#include <stdlib.h>

#include <string.h>

#include <stdio.h>

#include "pshlo.h"

#include "shlo.hxx"

#include "clsid.h"

int _cdecl main(

int argc,

char * argv[]

) {

HRESULT  hRslt;

IHello        *pHello;

ULONG  ulCnt;

IMoniker * pmk;

WCHAR  wcsT[_MAX_PATH];

WCHAR  wcsPath[2 * _MAX_PATH];

// get object path

wcsPath[0] = '\0';

wcsT[0] = '\0';

if( argc > 1) {

mbstowcs(wcsPath, argv[1], strlen(argv[1]) + 1);

wcsupr(wcsPath);

}

else {

fprintf(stderr, "Object path must be specified\n");

return(1);

}

// get print string

if(argc > 2)

mbstowcs(wcsT, argv[2], strlen(argv[2]) + 1);

else

wcscpy(wcsT, L"Hello World");

printf("Linking to object %ws\n", wcsPath);

printf("Text String %ws\n", wcsT);

// Initialize the OLE libraries

hRslt = CoInitializeEx(NULL, COINIT_MULTITHREADED);

if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt)) {

hRslt = CreateFileMoniker(wcsPath, &pmk);

if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt))

hRslt = BindMoniker(pmk, 0, IID_IHello, (void **)&pHello);

if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt)) {

// print a string out

pHello->PrintSz(wcsT);
Sleep(2000);
ulCnt = pHello->Release();
}
else
printf("Failure to connect, status: %lx", hRslt);
// Tell OLE we are going away.
CoUninitialize();
}
return(0);
}

Apprentice Hacker

 

  #!/usr/local/bin/perl  $msg="Hello, world.\n";
if ($#ARGV >= 0) {
while(defined($arg=shift(@ARGV))) {
$outfilename = $arg;
open(FILE, ">" . $outfilename) || die "Can't write $arg: $!\n";
print (FILE $msg);
close(FILE) || die "Can't close $arg: $!\n";
}
} else {
print ($msg);
}
1;

Experienced Hacker

 

  #include <stdio.h>  #define S "Hello, World\n"
main(){exit(printf(S) == strlen(S) ? 0 : 1);}

Seasoned Hacker

 

  % cc -o a.out ~/src/misc/hw/hw.c  % a.out

Guru Hacker

 

  % echo "Hello, world."

New Manager

 

  10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"  20 END

Middle Manager

 

  mail -s "Hello, world." [email protected]  Bob, could you please write me a program that prints "Hello, world."?
I need it by tomorrow.
^D

Senior Manager

 

  % zmail jim  I need a "Hello, world." program by this afternoon.

Chief Executive

 

  % letter  letter: Command not found.
% mail
To: ^X ^F ^C
% help mail
help: Command not found.
% damn!
!: Event unrecognized
% logout
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Posted in: Computers Jokes, Programmer Jokes

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One Response to “The Evolution of a Programmer”

  1. September 9th, 2010 at 6:32 am #Rzv

    This is really funny :) ). Should I test the code for all the evolutionary steps? :p

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