Encyclopedia of Humor

• I won’t stop bugging you until I get the address of your home page.
• You fascinate me more than the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus.
• Since distance equals velocity times time, let’s let velocity and time approach infinity, because I want to go all the way with you. Read More…

Officer: Hello there, maam. Could I see your license please?
Paris: Jesus! I wish you cops would get it together! You just took away my license yesterday, and now you expect me to show it to you? WTF! Not hot!

Officer: Miss Hilton, this is the third time youve had a traffic violation in 1 week!
Paris: Well, why did you stop me this time?
Officer: I didnt maam, the tree did. Its nice you wanted to take your dog into the park, but usually walking works better for everyone. Have you been drinking? Read More…

Officer: Miss Hilton, this is a 65 MPH highway. Why are you going so slowly?
Paris: 65? All the signs I saw said 22. Read More…

Officer: Good evening.
Paris: Well it isnt NOW!
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Paris: Hey, arent you that cop that gave me those verbal warnings last week? Looks like youve had a few donuts since then though. Read More…