Encyclopedia of Humor

Famous interpretations of “Why did the Chicken cross the road?”

Bill Clinton: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please…

Louis Farrakhan: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the “black man” in order to trample him down!

Colonel Sanders: I missed one?

L.A Poliece Department: Give us five minutes with the chicken, and we’ll find out.

Jerry Falwell: Because the chicken was gay! isn’t it obvious? Can’t you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the other side. thats what “they” call it: the “other side”. Yes, my friends the chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too!

Ronald Regan: What Chicken?

Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion, and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it!

ROBERT DE NIRO: Are you telling me the chicken crossed that road? Is that what you’re telling me? Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

Marting Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens, be they black or white or brown or red or speckled, will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

Grandpa: In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. Fox Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it’s true?

Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. How do you feel about your mother? Bill Gates: We have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs (only in the proprietary brown_ms.egg format), file your important documents, and balance your chequebook and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

The CI
A: Who told you about the chicken? Did you see the chicken? There was no chicken. Please step into the car, sir.

Einstein: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken.

A man walked into his backyard one morning and found there was a gorilla in a tree. He called a gorilla-removal service, and soon a serviceman arrived with a stick, a Chihuahua, a pair of handcuffs and a shotgun.

“Now listen carefully,” he told the homeowner, “I’m going to climb the tree and poke the gorilla with this stick until he falls to the ground. The trained Chihuahua will then go right for his, uh, sensitive area, and when the gorilla instinctivly crosses his hands in front to protect himself, you slap the handcuffs on”

“Ok, got it.” the homeowner replied. “But whats that shotgun for?”

“If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla,” the man said, “shoot the Chihuahua.”

Q) What do you call a dog with no legs?

A) It doesn’t matter, he won’t come!

Well, a man was driving down a country road, and he decided to get out and get some fresh air.

He got out, and started walking in a meadow. As he walked, he came upon a hole. Wanting to see how deep it was, he threw a pebble down. No sound. So he threw a medium-sized rock down. No sound.

The man started to get frustrated, so he threw a boulder down. No sound. As he searched about, he spotted a railroad beam. He hauled it over to the hole, and shoved it in. No sound.

He sat down on the ground, exhausted. Suddenly, he saw a goat running at him, full speed. He leaped up, and it brushed past him, and fell in the hole. He listened, but there was no sound.

He sat down again. A few minutes later, a farmer came walking up. The man asked him, “How deep is this hole?” The farmer said, “Oh. Thats the bottomless pit. It never ends. Say, have you seen my prize goat?”

The man, not wanting to get the blame, said, “No.” The farmer said, “Oh well. He can’t get far. He was tied to a railroad beam.”

A man walked into a pet store looking for a new pet for his wife.

So he asked the salesman for some assistance. The salesguy brought the man to a parrot in the back.

“Now this is the perfect pet for your wife, Chet is an very special animal” the salesman said.

“What makes him so special?” the man asked.

The salesman took a lighter from his pocket and held it under the Chet’s right foot, and Chet started to sing “Jingle bells, jingle bells..” and then the salesman held the lighter under is left foot and Chet started to sing “Deck the halls…”

So the man asked, “What happens if you hold the lighter between his feet?”
“Well I don’t know” answered the salesman.

So he holds the lighter between the parrot’s legs and instantly Chet began to sing…
“Chet’s nuts roasting on an open fire…”