Encyclopedia of Humor

John receives a phone call.

“Hello,” he answers. The voice on the other end says, “This is Susan. We met at a party about 3 months ago.”

John: “hmmm… Susan? You say we met 3 months ago?”

Susan: “Yes, it was at Bill’s house. After the party gave me a ride home. On the way home, we parked and got into the back seat. You told me I was a good sport.”

John: “Oh, yeah! Susan! How are have you been?”

Susan: “Well, I’m pregnant and I’m going to kill myself.”

John: “Say, you really ARE a good sport!”

Q: What were Christa McAuliffe’s last words to her husband?
A: “You feed the kids – I’ll feed the fish.”

Q: What does NASA stand for?
A1: Need Another Seven Astronauts
A2: Need Another Shuttle Also

Q: Did you know why there was only one black crew member on Challenger?
A: They didn’t know it was going to blow up.

Q: Did you know that NASA has a new space drink?
A: Ocean Spray – It was their second choice because they couldn’t get 7-UP.

Q: On future shuttle missions, why will one of the astronauts have to be a naval officer?
A: So when they decide to use it as an experimental submarine, they’ll have a rated officer onboard.

Q: How many people will fit in a Florida Volkswagen?
A: Four in the seats and seven in the ashtray.

One day the Lone Ranger and his companion Tonto were walking through the desert when Tonto suddenly stopped, bent down to the ground and said, – “Buffalo Come!”

And the Lone Ranger said, “How do you know Tonto?”

Tonto replied, – “Ear stuck to ground…”

Q. What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers?
A. Well-hung!!

A new list of the “World’s Shortest Books”:

STAYING HAPPILY MARRIED
-by Elizabeth Taylor

BEAUTY SECRETS
-by Janet Reno

HOME BUILT AIRPLANES
-by John Denver

DOWN HILL SKIING
-by Sonny Bono

HOW TO GET TO THE SUPER BOWL
-by Dan Marino

FLYING AT NIGHT
-by JFK, Jr.

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL
-by Hillary Clinton

MY LIFE’S MEMORIES
-by Ronald Reagan

THINGS I CAN’T AFFORD-
by Bill Gates

MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS
-by O. J. Simpson

THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY
-by Dennis Rodman

THE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH, AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH
-by the Ramseys

AMELIA EARHART’S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC OCEAN
AMERICA’S MOST POPULAR LAWYERS
DETROIT – A TRAVEL GUIDE
DR. KEVORKIAN’S COLLECTION OF MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
MIKE TYSON’S GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY
HELLEN KELLER’S BIRDWATCHING GUIDE