Encyclopedia of Humor

Hello, and welcome to Answering Machines of the Rich and Famous! Sam can’t come to the phone right now because he’s spending the week in his beautiful summer home on the French Riviera.

Q: Why did the golfer wear 2 pairs of pants?

A: Just in case he got a hole-in-one!

I’m pretending that I’m marooned on a desert island with Dana Delany, Linda Carter, and Sharon Lawrence. Since I don’t have a telephone there, you could leave a message in a bottle at the sound of the beep, and maybe it’ll wash up on my beach in a few days. Then if the professor gets stranded here, we’ll create a satellite uplink from a few coconuts and a palm leaf and I’ll get right back to you.

Hi, this is Johan advising you that you spend WAY too much time on the phone.
GO OUTSIDE…
See the world,
LIVE a little…
Have fun.

How do prisoners in jail talk to each other?

With their cell phones!