Encyclopedia of Humor

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!

Sorry… I’m far too depressed to come to the phone. If you can be bothered, leave a message after the sound of the gunshot, and maybe somebody will call you I guess… (BANG!)

(Automatic gunfire, explosions, rockets, jets; agitated voice:) I’m pinned down and can’t come to the phone right now, and Bob’s handling supporting fire! Leave your name and number, and a message! We’ll get back to you as soon… FIRE IN THE HOLE! (BOOM!) We’ll get back to you as soon as the air cover napalms the place!

(Sound of scrap metal falling down a staircase continues through message.) Hello, we are having some technical problems right now, so we can’t take your call. Please leave us a message.

(Slight echo as if spoken in a large underground cave:) Help me, please help me. I’m down here in the thing you’re holding in your hand. I can’t get out because my leg is broken and my hand is stuck between two wires. Wait, what’s that in the dark? OH NO, not a… a… a… Oh no, it IS! (Crunching noise.)