Encyclopedia of Humor

“Two policemen are considering the problem of catching the bandit. One of them starts to calculate the optimal mixed strategy for the chase. The other policeman protests.

‘While we’re doodling,’ he points out, ‘he is making his getaway.’

‘Relax,’ says the game-theorist policeman. ‘He’s got to figure it out too, don’t he?’”

Two government economists were returning home from a field meeting. As with all government travellers, they were assigned the cheapest seats on the plane so they each were occupying the center seat on opposite sides of the aisle.

They continued their discussion of the knotty problem that had been the subject of their meeting through takeoff and meal service until finally one of the passengers in an aisle seat offered to trade places so they could talk and he could sleep.

After switching seats, one economist remarked to the other that it was the first time an economic discussion ever kept anyone awake.

Bill and Boris are taking a break from a long summit. Boris says to Bill, “Bill, you know, I have a big problem. I don’t know what to do about it. I have a hundred bodyguards and one of them is a traitor. I don’t know which one.”

“Not a big deal Boris, I’m stuck with a hundred economists I have to listen to all the time before any policy decision, and only one tells the truth but it’s never the same one.”

Economics is ruining your life when…

- I tried to calculate my 3 year old son’s discount rate by seeing how many sweets he would require to be promised to him after dinner to be equivalent to one sweet before dinner

- I spent one hour in a toy shop making up over 20 bundles of toys that could be purchased for $25 and then asked my son to select one of these bundles

Top economist Valentine’s Day cards

4. You raise my interest rate thirty basis points without a corresponding dropoff in consumer enthusiasm.

3. Let’s raise housing starts together.

2. You stoke the animal spirits of my market.

1. Despite your decade of inflation, I still love you.