Encyclopedia of Humor

Economic computer viruses

INTEREST GROUP ECONOMIST VIRUS – Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer.

ECONOMETRICIAN VIRUS – Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of

POLITICAL THINK TANK ECONOMIST VIRUS – Doesn’t do anything, but you can’t get rid of it until next election.

GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS – nothing works on your system, but all your diagnostic software says everything is just fine.

MARXIAN ECONOMIST VIRUS – Helps your computer shut down whenever it wants to.

SOVIET ECONOMIST VIRUS – Crashes your computer, but denies it ever happened.

MAINSTREAM ECONOMIST VIRUS – It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases then in “self-defense.”

CENTRAL BANK ECONOMIST VIRUS – Makes sure that it’s bigger than any other file.

MULTINATIONAL CORPORATION ECONOMIST VIRUS – Deletes all monetary files, but keeps smiling and sending messages about how the economy is going to get better.

SUPPLY SIDE ECONOMIST VIRUS – Puts your computer to sleep for four years. When your computer wakes up, you’re trillion more dollars in debt.

NEW ECONOMY VIRUS – Also known as the “Tricky Dick Virus.” You can wipe it out, but it always makes a comeback.

ENVIRONMENTAL ECONOMIST VIRUS – Before allowing you to delete any file, it first asks you if you’ve considered the alternatives.

Folks came from afar just to see
Two Economists who’d agreed to agree.
While the event did take place,
It proved a disgrace;
They agreed one plus one adds to three.

An econometrician and an astrologer are arguing about their subjects.

The astrologer says, “Astrology is more scientific. My predictions come out right half the time. Yours can’t even reach that proportion”.

The econometrician replies, “That’s because of external shocks. Stars don’t have those”.

Dinosaur #1: “How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?”

Dinosaur #2: “What is an economist?”

Dinosaur #1: “A flunkie mathematician who tries to predict the population of kangaroos in Australia. But that’s not important and don’t ask what a Kangaroo is.”

Dinosaur #2: “I don’t know, how many?”

Dinosaur #1: “10 economists and one grad student. One economist to make a model, one to run the regression, one to test the hypothesis, one to interpret the results, one to conclude how to screw it on, one grad student to screw it on, and five economists trying to fight off the dinosaurs trying to eat them.

A woman hears from her doctor that she has only half a year to live.

The doctor advises her to marry an economist and to live in South Dakota.

The woman asks: will this cure my illness?

The doctor replies: No, but the half year will seem pretty long.