Encyclopedia of Humor

For starters, you’d be able to surf in South Dakota.

Wouldn’t have to hear that garbage Aerosmith song anymore.

The one dinosaur on the planet (here’s a clue..he’s purple) would be extinct.

We’d miss out on Tony Danza’s or Jenny McCarthy’s next sitcom.

Puts a major damper on that Molly Hatchet/Judas Priest reunion tour.

Pretty good chance that the Gorditas Dog from the Taco Bell commercials wouldn’t survive.

There’d be no more movies on the topic, that’s for sure

Keeps trying to sell you extra teeth.

His restrooms are labeled “Bleeders” and “Non-Bleeders”

Pumps gas into the waiting room in advance.

Does an extensive search for cavities…dental and body.

He…ummm..licks his tools clean.

Gets mad when you mention that 4 out of 5 dentists surveyed line.

When you come to from being under the gas, he’s quick to insist that you wore your pants backwards when you came into his office.

Wears a necklace made of human teeth.

Has a grindstone in the office for his tools.

Insists that a Novacaine shot is something that he’ll buy you at a bar if you just go out with him.

Pluto’s “accident” on Deck 3

Room service using Aladdin was getting out of hand.

Exterminator killed off “rat” problem only to discover they were Mickey and Minnie’s cousins.

Drunken dispute between Donald and The Mighty Ducks over who was mightier.

Charo kept showing up.

The Beast from “Beauty and the Beast” kept eating the midnight buffet.

The Seven Dwarfs vandalized the ship after failing to meet the “You Must Be This Tall to Ride This Ride” Requirements.

Stench of seawater and 101 Dalmations was too strong.

Tour guide Goofy goes into drunken rampage and uses Chip and Dale as Shuffleboard discs.

New hires Doc,Isaac,and Gopher quit days before launch,citing that this job is not as “exciting and new” as their last one.

You can have a woman president without electing her

You can spell colour wrong and get away with it

You can call Budweiser beer

You can be a crook and still be president

If you’ve got enough money you can get elected to do anything

If you can breathe you can get a gun

You can invent a new public holiday every year

You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care.

You get to call everyone you’ve never met “buddy”

You can think you’re the greatest nation on earth.

You can get a pizza within minutes of ordering.

“Scream” suite which becomes vacant quickly.

Hotel pool never gets used due to menacing music and one lone fin circling at all times.

Marv Albert has reservations for “The Crying Game” floor.

More suicide jump precautions on the Pauly Shore floor than anywhere else.

No one takes a shower on the “Psycho” floor

Pee-Wee Herman as a tour guide…YIKES

No buttons on the elevator to the Star Wars floor…just use the Force.

Room service involves Shannon Tweed and George Clooney.

Wake up call on Stallone floor is “Yo, Adrian!”

“Showgirls” floor booked until 2010..by Congress.