Encyclopedia of Humor

Q: Why don’t blondes double their recipes?

A: The oven doesn’t go to 700 degrees.

Q: What did the blonde do when she locked her keys in her car?

A: She had to break a window to get out!

Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde said “Look at that dog with one eye!”

The other blonde covers one of her eyes and goes, “Why?”

ARTERY–The study of fine paintings. BARIUM–What you do when CPR fails. BENIGN–What yoiu are after you be
8. CAESAREAN SECTION–A district in Rome. COLIC–A sheep dog. COMA–A punctuation mark. CONGENITAL–Friendly. DILATE–To live longer. FESTER–Quicker. G.I. SERIES–Baseball game between teams of soldiers. GRIPPE–A suitcase. HANGNAIL–A coat hook. MEDICAL STAFF–A Doctor’s cane. MINOR OPERATION–Coal digging. MORBID–A higher offer. NODE–Was aware of. ORGANIC–Church musician. OUTPATIENT–A person who has fainted. POST-OPERATIVE–A letter carrier. PROTEIN–In favor of young people. SECRETION–Hiding anything. SEROLOGY–Study of English knighthood. TABLET–A small table. TUMOR–An extra pair. URINE–Opposite of you’re out. VARICOSE VEINS–Veins which are very close together.

A blonde buys a plane ticket to Miami. (It’s a coach Ticket). When she gets on the plane she sits in first class.

The steward who checks tickets says, “I’m so sorry, this is a coach ticket and your sitting in 1st class.”

“I can do What-eva I want, I’m a blonde.” Well I’ll get the pilot.

The pilot comes and whispers in the blondes ear and she leaves. The steward looks amazed and says,” What did you say?”

The pilot simply says,” I told her 1st class wasn’t going to Miami, just coach was!!!”