Encyclopedia of Humor

A blonde goes into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother in Poland. The man tells her it will be $300. She exclaims, “I don’t have any money, but I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland!!!”

To that the man asks, “Anything??”
And the blonde says, “Yes, anything!!”
With that, the man says, “Follow me.”

He walks into the next room and tells her, “Come in and close the door.”
She does.
He then says, “Get on your knees.”
She does.
He then says, “Take down my zipper.”
She does.
He then says, “Go ahead, take it out.”
With that she takes it out and takes hold of it with both hands.
The man then says, “Well, go ahead!”

She brings her mouth closer to it, and while holding it close to her lips, she says, “Hello…Mom?”

Did you hear about the blonde who…

had more on her body than on her mind?

was called “Sanka” because she had no active ingredient in the bean?

took an hour to cook Minute Rice?

got into the taxi, and the driver kept the “Vacant” sign up?

was an M. D. – Mentally Deficient?

had a terrific stairway, but nothing upstairs?

thought nitrates was cheaper than day rates?

was told she was a silly puss, but insisted she didn’t have a crazy cat?

after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn’t get taller girls?

went to a nudist camp for a game of strip poker?

brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?

Grow your own dope! Plant a blonde!

Q: What’s the mating call of the blonde?
A: “I’m *sooo* drunk!”

Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: (Screaming) “I said: I’m drunk!”

Q: What’s a brunette’s mating call?

A: Has that blonde gone yet?
A2: When is that blonde bitch going to leave!?
A3: “All the blondes have gone home!”