Encyclopedia of Humor

Seen them all around the internet?

I don’t know where they come from but the next collection is for sale at http://www.despair.com

We’re talking about the 100 most popular, safe-for-work demotivational posters. More will follow.

Make sure you’ll check http://www.motifake.com for more posters. Enjoy.

Someone once took a large black ink marker and wrote “Help” on the bottom of the groom’s left shoe and “Me” on the bottom of the right shoe. So when he knelt down for his vows, the entire congregation saw it. Of course, this will only work if he must kneel with back to congregation (i.e. Catholic wedding). Make sure you get it so that it is readable with the shoes side by side, left to right, toes toward the floor. Do this far enough in advance so that the paint is dry before the groom wears the shoes to avoid damaging carpets.Besides “Help Me”, other possible message to write on the soles are (with varying degrees of cruelness): Left Shoe (I’m With) Right Shoe (Stupid [pointing arrowhead]); Left Shoe (Quick, Call 911!) Right Shoe (Never Mind, I’m Doomed!)

Jack was living in Arizona during a heat wave when the following took place.”It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,” complained Jack as he stepped out of the shower. “Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?””Probably that I married you for your money.”

On the first day, God created the dog and said:

“Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in
or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.”

The dog said: “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten
years and I’ll give you back the other ten?”

So God agreed. Read More…

20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one yokel is now holding his mobile in his hand

A woman likes to have four animals in the house: a jaguar in front of the doorway, a fox in the closet, a bull in bed, and a numbskulll to pay for this all.

Are these your eyes, I found them between my brests!

At this moment i have a déjà vu and a loss of memory at the same time. I thin I have forgotten this before.

Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are old! Read More…