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Funny sms text messages

sms message 20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one yokel is now holding his mobile in his hand

sms message A woman likes to have four animals in the house: a jaguar in front of the doorway, a fox in the closet, a bull in bed, and a numbskulll to pay for this all.

sms message Are these your eyes, I found them between my brests!

sms message At this moment i have a déjà vu and a loss of memory at the same time. I thin I have forgotten this before.

sms message Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are old!

sms message Be nice to the ones who smoke.. every cigarette migh be their last.

sms message BEEB! Send this message to 5 of your friends and you will have unbelieveble sex tonight! If you break this chain, you’ll never have multiple orgasm again!

sms message Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don’t care, me don’t cry, me just happy that a cow can’t fly!!

sms message Braindetector activated, calibrating, now searching………still searching……get a good grip of your mobile….still searching…….no brains found.

sms message Did I not see you yesterday at the mall, with a grey jacket? No? O, than it was a rubbish bag after all! .

sms message Do not disturb, I am enough disturbed as it is . . .

sms message Don’t feel sad, don’t feel glue, Einstein was ugly too !

sms message E man pays $.2,00 for a $.1,00 item that he needs, a woman pays $.1,00 for $.2,00 item that she does not need.

sms message Excessive use of alcohol can lead to a pregnancy.

sms message For you I would go as far as the end of the world. Do you promise to stay here ?”

sms message God created the earth, God created the woods, God created you too, but yes, even God makes mistakes!

sms message God created the universe, the earth, nature, the eggs, man and saw that it was good and beautiful. God also created woman and thought : ‘I hope she will make herself up’!

sms message HALLO, this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. I just wanted to leave your pocket, want the smell is unbearable!!!

sms message Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now….. sorry I will leave, I can’t find a brain.

sms message Hello, this is GOD. I make few bad creations but you are the worst monster I ever realised. My apologies on behalf of the whole world..

sms message How would you like your egg for breakfast…. hard-boiled or impregnated?

sms message I am a killer,I kill people for money…..But because you are my friend,I’ll kill you for nothing!

sms message I am not stupid, I am blond!!! B – L – O – N – T

sms message I am not your type … I am not inflatable.

sms message I know why I am single, my parents-in-law were not able to have kids…

sms message I like to compare you with a nice cold glass of beer, beautiful colour, perfect taste, really perfect and when the glass is empty i just take the next one!

sms message I once sniffed Coke, but the icecubes blocked my nostrils…

sms message If being ugly would hurt, you would be in pain all day long.

sms message If you have picture where you look old, keep them. In twenty years you can prove that you have not changed a bit.

sms message If you really ressemble the picture on your ID, you are not fit enough to travel.

sms message Ik would like to be a volcano… smoke all day and people say … look he is working!

sms message In case of fire read this message……………………………….I SAID IN CASE OF FIRE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!

sms message It is charming, incredibly handsome, extremely good, well shaped, horny,an animal in bed and it knows one French word … MOI!!

sms message Love me or leave me. Hey,where is everybody going ???

sms message Mobile sex: push 1 for oral, 2 for anal, 3 for normal, 4 for a trio, 5 for SM and for everything … dial my number!

sms message My feelings for you are like the sea. ” Wild and romantic ? ” “No, they make me sick.”

sms message My mother in law walks five miles every day, I wonder where she is at this moment…

sms message Nice perfume… but do you really need to marinate in it?

sms message One out of four people is a chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be you.

sms message Opticians bend your the rims/frames of your glasses for they are too polite to say that your ears are in the wrong place.

sms message Read in a hospital… The psychiatrist may nog be disturbed

sms message roses are red, violets are blue, frankenstein is ugly but what the hell happened to you????

sms message roses are red, violets are blue, most poems ryhm, but this one doesn’t…

sms message Scientists in the US proved that people who do not perform well in bed and who have difficulties to come hold their mobile in their right hand ………………

sms message Smoking is allowed in this area, blowing not!

sms message The more I learn the more I get to know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, so why should I be learning??

sms message The one who digs a hole for someone else, is sweating blood !

sms message They dropped your name, can you pick it up ?

sms message This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat, 20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!

sms message This is the telephone terrorist team. While receiving this message a virus will be activated. This virus should have infected your mobile by now. Your mobile will be disabled, unless you are ugly.

sms message This is your boss: “You are allowed to read the newspaper during the working hours and do certainly not miss the job adds.”

sms message This sms can only be read by someone SEXY:…try again…again…maybe you are just not sexy?…one more time…hey don’t force it ugly!!!

sms message Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, a sexy mouth, nice smile …. but that is enough about me, tell me how you are?

sms message We cannot grant you a life insurance policy because you are already 102 years old. “I do not understand. It is proven statistically that at that age only few people die.”

sms message We will now upgrade your brain…….Please wait……..Searching…….Searching…….Still searching……..Sorry, no brain found !!!

sms message What he want, I do not want … What I want, he does not want … What we want, is not allowed!

sms message When I was a dog, and you were a flower, I walked over you and gave you a shower!!

sms message You are an unwanted child. Your parents paid the medical expenses for your birth with their accident insurance.

sms message You are never too blond to learn !!!

sms message You got STYLE… You got SEX-APPEAL… You got the BRAINS… and you sure as hell got the BODY….WAIT!!!!!…SORRY….wrong number

sms message You have the ones that think and you have the ones that do things. The worst kind are those who think that they are doing things.

sms message You should know what it takes to look this cheap!

sms message You used to be so ugly that your mother had to tie a steak around your neck, otherwise even the dog would not play with you

sms message You will have to cut back on your sex live. What part will you leave out, talking about it or thinking about it?

sms message You with your beautiful eyes, you with your nice hair, you with your fantastic body … o, sorry, wrong number

sms message You’d better not be a dayfly and not having your day.

sms message Your provider adjusted his rates. The rate is determined by the length of your genitalia, the shorter they are, the less you pay. You can telephone for free from now on!

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3 Responses to “Funny sms text messages”

  1. June 17th, 2008 at 10:53 pm #Sami - SMS Mail

    LOL… this is funny “Don’t feel sad, don’t feel glue, Einstein was ugly too!”

    Keep em coming!

  2. January 30th, 2010 at 11:41 am #heartar

    keep up good work

  3. March 5th, 2010 at 12:02 pm #Kitty Vind

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