Every nation has to write a book about the Elephant:

The French book   – The Sex Life of the Elephant
                or: 1000 ways to cook Elephant
The English book  – Elephants I have shot on Safari
The Welsh book    – The Elephant and its influence on Welsh language and
                    culture
                or: Oes ysgol tocynnau eleffant llanfairpwll nhadau coeden.
The American book – How to Make Bigger And Better Elephants
The Japanese book – How to Make Smaller And Cheaper Elephants
The Greek book    – How to Sell Elephants for a Lot of Money
The Finnish book  – What Do Elephants Think about Finnish People
The German book   – A Short Introduction to Elephants, Vol 1-6.
The Icelandic book – Defrosting an Elephant
The Swiss book    – Switzerland: The Country Through Which Hannibal Went
                    With His Elephants
The Canadian book – Elephants: A Federal or State Issue?
The Swedish book  – How to reduce your taxes with an elephant.

A woman is out looking for a pet, and so she’s trying the local pet shops. She walks into a small pet shop and explains her need to the attendant. He thinks for a moment and then says, “I’ve got just the thing for you madam. I’ll just get him.”

With that, he disappears into the back of the shop, and returns a few seconds later with a cute little puppy. “This dog is a special dog,” he tells her. “It is able to fly,” he explains, and with that throws the dog into the air. It immediately begins to float gracefully around the shop.

“There is one problem with him, however. Whenever you say ‘my’, he’ll eat whatever you’ve mentioned. Watch. “My apple!” The lady watches in astonishment as the dog zooms over to the shop attendant and furiously devours an apple he has produced from his pocket.

“He’s cute, and so unusual. I’ll take him,” she says, and a few minutes later she is on her way back home with dog to show her husband.

“Darling, look what a clever pet I bought today!” she exclaims when she gets back home. “He can fly!”

The husband peers at the dog, and then remarks, “Fly eh? Ha! My foot!”

A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees
a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders. He says,
“What the hell is that all about?”

The farmer says, “We had a fire in the chicken coop and all
his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some
clothes to keep him warm. There ain’t nothing funnier than
watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his
pants down with the other.”

A horse and a rabbit are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a
mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the rabbit to go and get the
farmer to help pull him out to safety. The rabbit runs to the farm but
the farmer can’t be found. He drives the farmer’s Mercedes back to the
mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the
other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car
forward saving him from sinking!

A few days later, the rabbit and horse were playing in the meadow
again and the rabbit fell into the mud hole. The rabbit yelled to the
horse to go and get some help from the farmer.

The horse said, “I think I can stand over the hole!” So he stretched
over the width of the hole and said, “Grab for my dick and pull
yourself up.” And the rabbit did and pulled himself to safety.

The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don’t need a
Mercedes!

“One spring day, a fish was swimming about a foot below the surface of a lake and saw a fly hovering just out of striking distance.

The fish said to itself, “”If that fly comes six inches closer, I’ll jump up and have myself a meal.”" Just then, a bear on the shore of the lake looked up and said to itself, “” If that fly gets any closer to that fish, the fish will jump up, and I’ll catch the fish and have myself a meal.”"

As luck would have it, a hunter saw what was happening. He thought to himself, “”If that fly moves closer to the fish, the fish will jump, the bear will lean over to grab the fish, and I’ll shoot the bear.”"

Just then, a rat was standing behind the hunter saying to itself,”" If that fly moves closer to the fish, the fish will jump, the bear will lean over to grab the fish, the hunter will lean over to shoot the bear, and I’ll grab the sandwich from the back pocket of the hunter.

However, unbeknownst to the rat, a cat was observing everything and thinking, “”If that fly moves closer to the fish, the fish will jump, the bear will grab the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, the rat will grab the sandwich, and I’ll snatch the rat.”"

At that very moment, the fly dropped a few inches, the fish grabbed the fly, the bear grabbed the fish, the hunter shot the bear, the rat grabbed the sandwich, the cat jumped, missed the rat and landed in the lake.

The moral of this story is:

If the fly drops six inches the pussy will get wet.”