One day, while Sue was cleaning under the bed, she found a small box. Curious, she opened it and found 3 eggs and 10,000 dollars. A little bit suspicious, she confronted her husband of twenty years about it.

“Oh, that,” Frank said. “Every time I cheated on you, I put an egg in this box.” Sue was a bit unhappy about this, but figured that 3 affairs over twenty years wasn’t so bad.

“But what about the 10,000 dollars?”

“Every time I got a dozen, I sold them.”

Dave works hard at the plant, puts in a lot of overtime, and then spends most evenings bowling, playing basketball or working out at the gym. His wife, Mary, thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so, for his birthday, she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, “Hey, Dave, how ya doing?”

Mary is puzzled and asks if he’s been to this club before.

“Oh no,” says Dave. “He works out at the gym with me.”

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he’d like his usual Budweiser.

Mary is now becoming uncomfortable and says, “You must come here a lot for that woman to know you drink Budweiser.”

“No, honey, she’s in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them.”

A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave. “Hi Davey,” she says, “Want your usual table dance?”

Mary, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Dave follows and spots his wife getting into a cab. Before Mary can slam the door, Dave jumps in beside her. Right away she starts screaming at him.

The cabby turns his head and says, “Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave.”

At the end of the funeral service the pall bearers are carrying the casket out. When they accidentally bump into a wall jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive.

She lives for ten more years and then dies. A ceremony is again held at the same place and at the end of the ceremony the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket.

As they are walking the husband cries out, “watch out for the wall!”

A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part of it was that the older three had red hair, light skin, and were tall, while the youngest son had black hair, dark eyes, and was short.

The father eventually took ill and was lying on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said, “Honey, before I die, be totally honest with me – is our youngest son my child?”

The wife replied, “I swear on everything that’s holy that he is your son.”

With that the husband passed away. The wife then muttered, “Thank God he didn’t ask about the other three.”

Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It’s a beautiful day and love is in the air.

Marie leans over to Pierre and says: “Pierre, kiss me!” Our hero grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie’s lips.

“What are you doing, Pierre?”, says the startled Marie.

“I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I like to have red wine!

She smiles and they start kissing. When things began to heat up a little, Marie says, “Pierre, kiss me lower.”

Our hero tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and starts pouring it all over her breasts.

“Pierre! What are you doing?’, asks the bewildered Marie.

“I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I like to have white wine!”

They resume their passionate interlude and things really steam up. Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, “Pierre, kiss me lower!”

Our hero rips off her underwear, grabs a bottle of Cognac and pours it in her lap. He then strikes a match and lights it on fire.

Marie shrieks and dives into the river. Standing waist deep, Marie throws her arms upwards and screams furiously,

“PIERRE, WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?”

“I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I go down, I go down in flames!”