Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie were shopping when Paris suddenly realized she locked her keys in the car. So they went back and Paris got out her tweezers to try to pick the lock. She tried for a couple of minutes and then Nicole gave it a try. Hurry! Paris said. Its starting to rain. And the top is down!
Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton are driving down the highway in a convertible. Lindsay knows that shes speeding so she asks Paris if theres a cop behind them. The Paris looks behind her and sees a cop and says Oh shit. There is a cop behind us. Lindsay says That sucks. Are his lights on? Paris says Yes…No…Yes…No…Yes…No
1. Excuse me, but where is the Starbucks?
2. Is this pork chop and mashed potato stew diet?
3. Could you put those handcuffs on me again? It makes me feel like Im in my own bed.
4. Wow. This is so like totally not like Daddys hotel. Big frown!
5. Cant I have my dog here with me? He was driving drunk too!
6. Do you have anything else I can wear? This uniform makes me look so non-anorexic.
7. Wait! When I checked no about the conjugal visits, it was because I like TOTALLY thought it meant I had to meet with a grammar tutor.
8. Hey, why is there a bed in this disgusting little bathroom? And where is the rest of my cell?
9. Youll silence Sarah Silverman for how much again?
10. Yes, can you tell me where I book a pedicure and a Brazilian? And would you mind if I brought in my people for it? No offense, but I would never want a stranger to see me down there!
11. Wow, so youre like a criminal? Youre like the third one I met today!
12. Dear Mr. Diary. Im going to write three letters to the judge and see if that helps: WTF?
· MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH – Back to the drawing board.
· DEVELOPED AFTER YEARS OF INTENSIVE RESEARCH – It was discovered by accident.
· PROJECT SLIGHTLY BEHIND ORIGINAL SCHEDULE DUE TO UNFORSEEN DIFFICULTIES – We are working on something else. Read More…
If you refer to your spouse as “\woman at home.wife,”
If your favorite TV show is “Mr. Wizard” instead of “Baywatch,”
If when your family is expecting, you are more interested in the ultra-sound equipment than the test results,
If when someone asks “What’s new?” you answer “C over lambda,”
Read More…
