After being away on business, Clarence McDougal thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. “How about some perfume?” he asked the cosmetics clerk.

She showed him a bottle costing $50.00. “That is a bit much,” said Clarence.

So the clerk returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00. “That’s still quite a bit,” Clarence groused. Read More…

A newly married sailor was informed by the navy that he was going to be stationed a long way from home on a remote island in the Pacific for a year. A few weeks after he got there he began to miss his new wife, so he wrote her a letter. “My love,” he wrote, “We are going to be apart for a very long time. Already I’m starting to miss you and there’s really not much to do here in the evenings. Besides that we’re constantly surrounded by young, attractive, native girls. Do you think if I had a hobby of some kind I would not get tempted?” Read More…

A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.

After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, “I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles.”

“She did,” he replied. “But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?”

A married man and his secretary were having a torrid affair. One afternoon they couldn’t contain their passion, so they rushed over to her place where they spent the afternoon making passionate love. When they were finished, they fell asleep, not waking until 8 o’clock that night.

They got dressed quickly. Then the man asked his secretary to take his shoes outside and rub them on the lawn. Bewildered, she did as he asked, thinking him pretty weird.

The man finally got home and his wife met him at the door. Upset, she asked where he’d been. The man replied, Read More…

A husband and wife who have been married 20 years were doing some yard work. The man was working hard cleaning the BBQ grill while his wife was bending over, weeding flowers from the flower bed.

The man says to his wife, “Your rear end is almost as wide as this grill.” She ignored the remark.

A little later, the husband takes his measuring tape and measures the grill, then he goes over to his wife while she is bending over, measures her rear end and gasps, “Geez, your butt Read More…