She says = English
1. We need = I want
2. It’s your decision = The correct decision should be
obvious by now
3. Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later
4. We need to talk = I need to complain
5. Sure…go ahead = I don’t want you to.
6. I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron.
7. You’re…so manly = You need a shave and you sweat
8. You’re certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?
9. I’m not emotional! And I’m not
overreacting! = I have PMS!
10. Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I have flabby thighs.
11. This kitchen is so inconvenient. = I want a new house.
12. I want new curtains = and carpeting, furniture, wallpaper…
13. Hang the picture there = No, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
14. Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something
15. How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re
really not going to like…
16. I’ll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a
good game on T.V.
17. Is my butt fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful.
18. You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.
19. Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, your dead.]
20. Yes = No
21. No = No
22. Maybe = No
23. I’m sorry. = You’ll be sorry.
24. Do you like this recipe? = It’s easy to fix, so you’d
better get get used to it.
25. I’m not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I
think this is important.
In answer to the question “What’s wrong?”
26. The same old thing. = Nothing.
27. Nothing. = Everything.
28. Everything. = My PMS is acting up.
29. Nothing, really. = It’s just that you’re such a jerk.
30. I don’t want to talk about it. = Go away, I’m still building up
evidence against you.