-Your village called- they’re missing an idiot.

-I’m the man of the house and i have my wife’s permission to say so!

-There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can’t.

-Sex on TV can’t hurt unless you fall off.

-HEALTH is merely the slowest possible rate at which on can DIE.

-Follow your dreams (except the on where your at school in your underwear)

-on a bumbper sticker: Insured with the mafia; you hit us and we’ll hit you!