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French Jokes I

Happy 14th of July, France

Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?
A: Nobody knows, it’s never been tried.

Q. Why don’t they have fireworks at Euro Disney?
A. Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.

Q. Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees?
A. So the Germans could march in the shade.

Q: How many gears does a French tank have?
A: 4 reverse and 1 forward, in case the enemy attacks from the rear.

Q: How can you identify a French Infantryman?
A: Sunburned armpits.

Q. What’s the difference between Frenchmen and toast?
A. You can make soldiers out of toast.

Q. What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?
A. The Army.

Q: What are they calling the Germans, French and Belgians, at the Pentagon?
A: “The Axis of Weasels.”

Q. Why do we need France on our side against Saddam and Osama?
A. So the French can show them how to surrender.

Q: Why did the French celebrate their World Cup Championship in 2000 so wildly?
A: It was their first time they won anything without the help of the U.S.

Q: What’s the difference between 1943 and 2003?
A. This time around, the Vichy government is telling the German puppets what to do.

Q: What is the first thing the French Army teaches at basic training?
A: How to surrender in at least 10 languages.

Q: What is the most useful thing in the French Army?
A: A rearview mirror, so they can see the war.

Q: Why does Nike like the French Army?
A: Because, in war time, they are the biggest buyers of running shoes.

Q: How do you stop a French tank?
A: Shoot the guy that’s pushing it!

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5 Responses to “French Jokes I”

  1. July 14th, 2009 at 11:03 pm #Mokawi

    Rather distasteful. There are hundreds of thousands of young men who died defending Paris in about a dozen sieges.

  2. July 15th, 2009 at 4:02 am #Victor

    @Mokawi, yes, most of them were British.

  3. July 16th, 2009 at 2:43 am #Bass

    LOL Victor :) )

  4. July 17th, 2009 at 12:52 am #Mokawi

    @Victor: holds true only for the 100 yrs war (end of Middle Age).

    Wow, you guys are low… Especially since I suspect it’s coming from Americans, who never actually had to defend their countries, but go hysteric whenever they get something of an attack, and invade random countries.

  5. September 1st, 2009 at 10:13 am #jim

    im pretty sure the USA is only one country

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