Encyclopedia of Humor

Obama wins Presidential Election and what are the first words out of Michelle Obama’s mouth?

For the Second Time in My Adult Lifetime, I am really proud of my country.

Once a gentleman arrived at the town, dressed well, he settled in the unique hotel that was, and put a warning in the unique page of the local newspaper, was arranged to buy each monkey that brings to him by $10. Farmers, that knew that the forest was full of monkeys, left running to hunt monkeys.

The man bought, like had promised in the warning, the hundreds of monkeys that brought to him to $10 each without chistar. But, as already they were very few monkeys in the forest, and it was difficult to hunt them, the farmers lost interest, then the man offered $20 by each monkey, and the farmers ran again to the forest.

Again, they were decreasing the monkeys, and the man lifted the supply to $25, and the farmers returned to the forest, hunting the few monkeys that were, until it was already almost impossible to find one. Arrived at this point, the man offered $50 by each monkey, but, like tapeworm businesses that to take care of in the city, the business of the purchase of monkeys would leave in charge of its assistant.

Once the man to the city traveled, his assistant went to the farmers saying to them: – They pay attention to this full cage of thousands of monkeys that my head bought for his collection, nor remembers it has that them. I offer to them to sell to you the monkeys to them by $35 and when my head returns of the city, are sold it by $50 each. The farmers joined all savings and bought the thousands of monkeys that were in the great cage, and waited for the return of ‘ jefe’ … From that day, they returned to see neither the assistant nor the head. The unique thing that saw was the full cage of monkeys that they bought with his savings of all the life.

Now you have clear a good notion of how she works the Stock market, stock-market and Wall s$street

1. The most popular game for Icelandic families in 2009?
Go Fish!
2. What’s the capital of Iceland?
About $20
Iceland was a currency posing as a bank.
3. I went to an ATM today, and it asked to borrow a twenty till next week.
4. Quote of the day (from a trader): “This is worse than a divorce. I’ve lost half my money and I still have a wife.”
5. In Soviet America, banks rob people because that is where the money is!

A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama fans. Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for little Johnny. The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different.

Little Johnny said, ‘Because I’m not an Obama fan.’

The teacher asked, ‘Why aren’t you an Obama fan?’

Johnny said, ‘Because I’m a Republican.’

The teacher asked him why he’s a Republican.

Little Johnny answered, ‘Well, my Mom’s a Republican and my Dad’s a Republican, so I’m a Republican.’

Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, ‘If your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?’

With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, ‘That would make me an Obama fan.

Barack Obama was seated next to a little girl on an airplane trip back to Washington. He turned to her and said, “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to The Obama, “What would you like to talk about?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” said the Obama. “How about What Changes I Should Make To America?” and he smiles.

“OK,” she says. “That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?”

Obama, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it for a second and finally says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”

To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to change America when you don’t know shit?”