14. “Well, it depends on your definition of ‘father’, Luke.”
13. “Who knew the Jedi Mind Trick could work on 250 million people all at once?”
12. “I *absolutely* support the use of droids in the military… Okay, now I don’t.”
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I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.
–Frank Sinatra
The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk, they’re sober.
–William Butler Yeats
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
–Ernest Hemingway
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1. I’m from the FAA and I’m here to help you.
2. Me? I’ve never busted minimums.
3. We will be on time, maybe even early.
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You’ve all seen them around the web.. We believe they deserve a series.
The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation’s driving school.
Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can’t see my license plate.
Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, “Guns don’t kill people. I do.”
Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.
Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
A: Be too shit-faced to find your keys.
Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A: I’d probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave “hello” if he/she is cute.
Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.
Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.
Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: Carry loaded weapons.
Q: Why would it be difficult to be a police officer?
A: It would be tough to be a dickhead all day long.
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