These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
Sign in a realtor’s office: “Lots for little.”
Sign in a shoe store: “Come in and have a fit.”
Sign in a maternity clothes store: “We are open on labor day.”
Sign in a non-smoking area: “If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”
Sign on the door of the maternity ward: “Push Push Push.”
Sign at entrance of the IRS: “Watch your step.”
Sign at the exit of the IRS: “Watch your mouth.”
Sign in a bookstore: “We treat you write.”
Sign on a front door: “Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.”
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These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
Outside a country shop: “We buy junk and sell antiques.”
In the window of an Oregon store: “Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?”
In a Maine restaurant: “Open 7 days a week and weekends.”
In the vestry of a New England church: “Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished.”
In a Pennsylvania cemetery: “Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.”
On a roller coaster: “Watch your head.”
On the grounds of a public school: “No trespassing without permission.”
On a Tennessee highway: “When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.”
In front of a New Hampshire car wash: “If you can’t read this, it’s time to wash your car.”
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These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
On a New York convalescent home: “For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church.”
On a Maine shop: “Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship.”
At a number of military bases: “Restricted to unauthorized personnel.”
On a display of “I love you only” Valentine cards: “Now available in multi-packs.”
In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: “Don’t kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.”
In a funeral parlor: “Ask about our layaway plan.”
In a clothing store: “Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.”
In a Tacoma, Washington men’s clothing store: “15 men’s wool suits, $10. They won’t last an hour!”
On a shopping mall marquee: “Archery Tournament-Ears pierced”
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These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
At a Santa Fe gas station: “We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.”
In a New York restaurant: “Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager.”
On the wall of a Baltimore estate: “Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.-Sisters of Mercy”
On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: “38 years on the same spot.”
In a Los Angeles dance hall: “Good clean dancing every night but Sunday.”
In a Florida maternity ward: “No children allowed.”
In a New York drugstore: “We dispense with accuracy.”
In the offices of a loan company: “Ask about our plans for owning your home.”
In a New York medical building: “Mental Health Prevention Center”
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On a ski lift in Taos, NM: ‘No jumping from the lift. Survivors will be prosecuted.’
Official sign near door: Door Alarmed. Handprinted sign nearby: Window frightened.
Road sign seen on the island of Cyprus. (translation of the Greek): ‘Caution: Road Slippery from Grapejuice’
A sign advertising a Company wide skiing race: Let’s see who can go downhill the fastest.
Sign in King’s Canyon in California. ‘Slow Parking Ahead’
A billboard seen next to the highway, travelling from Johannesburg International Airport into town. An Ad for BMW showing a photo of a BMW 328i convertible with the roof and all the windows down. The caption reads:’ Our hardware runs better without WINDOWS!!!’
Two signs found on top of one another in a country kitchen several years ago: Restrooms to the left. Please wait for the hostess to seat you.
Seen in a health food store. “Shoplifters will be beaten over the head with an organic carrot”
“Children left unattended will be towed at parents expense.”
I went to a little hole in the wall restaurant: the sign read: Women are not served here. You have to bring your own
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