Entry level position:
You’ll be making minimum wage. Entry level position in an up-and-coming company:
You’ll be making minimum wage; we’ll be bankrupt in a year. Profit sharing plan:
Once it’s shared between the higher-ups, there won’t be a profit. Read More…
I know how to deal with stressful situations:
I’m usually on Prozac. When I’m not, I take lots of cigarette and coffee breaks. I seek a job that will draw upon my strong communication & organizational skills:
I talk too much and like to tell other people what to do. I’m extremely adept at all manner of office organization:
I’ve used Microsoft Office. Read More…
Here are the best love songs of all times – according to “The Guardian”.
Enjoy.
(and NO, we are NOT getting SOFT)
10. The Police: Every Breath You Take
Sting and co prove that stalking is a fit subject for pop. Paranoid and slightly chilling, avoid socialising with couples who have chosen this to be ‘their song’, as it will probably end in tears at the very least.
9. Eric Clapton: Wonderful Tonight
The leisurely guitar licks and drowsy vocals disguise the fact that the lyrics are simply an account of a rather boring evening in Eric’s life. He watches his other half brush her hair, they go to a party, he gets a headache, gives her the car keys and they go home. Who said romance was dead?
These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.
Sign on a Norfolk farm: “Trespassers beware! I shoot every tenth trespasser. The ninth one just left.”
Sign seen in London department store: “Bargain Basement Upstairs”
Sign seen in the vicinity of Victoria Station: “Closed for official opening.”
Sign in a Paris hotel elevator: “Please leave your values at the front desk.”
Sign in a hotel in Athens: “Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.”
Sign in a Yugoslavian hotel: “The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.”
Sign in a Japanese hotel: “You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.”
Sign in a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: “You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
