Encyclopedia of Humor

What’s the difference between God and pilots?
God doesn’t think he is a pilot.

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airline are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and co-pilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind. The pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle, and the co-pilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with huge sunglasses. At first the passengers do not react, thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. However, after a few minutes, the engines start revving and the airplane starts moving down the the runway. The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness, whispering among Read More…

1. You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping (and especially those bows) next year.

2. You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off.

3. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out.

4. You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table.

5. Your stove is covered with aluminum foil. Read More…

2000 For the period Dec 20, 1999 to Jan 10, 2000 we got fewer new viruses than in an average five-day period of 1999. (Vesselin Bontchev)

1999 It’s possible that we could see 200,000 viruses around Y2K. (Carey Nachenberg)
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Amdahl’s Law: The speed-up achievable on a parallel computer can be significantly limited by the existence of a small fraction of inherently sequential code which cannot be parallelised. (Gene Amdahl)

Augustine’s Second Law of Socioscience: For every scientific (or engineering) action, there is an equal and opposite social reaction. (Norman Augustine)
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