Encyclopedia of Humor

A drunk guy is walking down the street. He sees this nun, runs up and knocks her over. He says, “You don’t feel so tough now, do you, Batman!?”

A Russian guy was walking down the street when he came across a bottle of vodka. He picked it up, opened it and a genie came out and said, “You are my master. You now have one wish.”

The Russian man said, “I would like to piss vodka.”

When the he got home he told his wife to get two glasses. She brought them and asked what they’d be drinking. He told her he could piss vodka, and of course she didn’t believe him. So he pissed in the glasses, she smelled one, and said, “It smells like vodka!”
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A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions….

Officer: What’s 2+2?

Blonde: Ummmmm… 4!

Officer: What’s the square root of 100?

Blonde: Ummmm… 10!

Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln?
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