Encyclopedia of Humor

“I’m Morley Safer.” “I’m Harry Reasoner.” “And I’m Fred.” “We’re not home; leave a message.”

Annoying flute music in background: Good day, Jim. Your contact, Linda, is not available right now. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to leave your name, number, and a brief message at the tone. This tape will self-destruct in thirty seconds. Good Luck, Jim.

How did the sand get wet? The sea weed!

Annoying flute music in background: Good day, Jim. Your contact, Linda, is not available right now. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to leave your name, number, and a brief message at the tone. This tape will self-destruct in thirty seconds. Good Luck, Jim.

Vancouver Coast Guard, may I help you. (Caller thinks that he/she accidentally dialed long distance.