Encyclopedia of Humor

Hello, you have reached the DOE, that is, the Department Of Enemies. Rick Burger is not here right now, so leave a message saying who you are, what you want to argue about, and where you’ll be, and I’ll be there.

E’llo. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Leave your name and number, and prepare to die.

Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I’ll be right with you.

Hello, this is Rip van Winkle. I’m not awake to take your call right now. Please leave your message at the sound of the snore.

English accent: Hello, you’ve reached the phone of Monty Python. I can’t come to the phone right now because the witch has turned me into a newt! I’ll call you back when I get better.