Encyclopedia of Humor

Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?

He didn’t have the guts!

At a recent software engineering management course in the US, the participants were given an awkward question to answer. “If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software how many of you would disembark immediately?”

Among the ensuing forest of raised hands, only one man sat motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay onboard.

With his team’s software, he said, the plane was unlikely to even taxi as far as the runway, let alone take off.

A blond gets on a plane and goes up to first-class. The flight attendant tells her that she will have to move back; her ticket is not for first class. The blond says, “I’m blond, I’m beautiful, and I’m going to California.” The main flight attendant is brought in and explains that she will have to move. The blond says, “I’m blond, I’m beautiful, and I’m going to California.”

The attendants tell the pilot. He comes in and looks the situation over. He leans over and whispers something to the blond and she gets up immediately and moves out of first class.
The attendants are flabbergasted, “What did you say to her?” “I just told her that this section of the plane doesn’t go to California.”

Student: Can I use the bathroom?
Teacher: Okay but first say your ABC’s.

Students: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO QRSTUVWXYZ

Teacher: Where’s the P?
Student: Its running down my leg!

Q: What is the ideal cockpit crew?

A: A pilot and a dog…the pilot is there to feed the dog, and the dog is there to bite the pilot in case he tries to touch anything.

Q: How many pilots does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Just one. He holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.

Q: How do you know if a pilot is at your party?

A: He’ll tell you.

Q: How do you know when you are half way through a date with a pilot?

A: Because he says: “Thats enough about flying, let’s talk about me”!

Q: What’s the purpose of the propeller?

A: To keep the pilot cool. If you don’t think so, just stop it and watch him sweat!