Encyclopedia of Humor

What do you call a masterbating bull? Beef strokin’off.

How many polish people does it take to milk a cow?

9, four to hold the legs, four to hold the udders, and one to tell them when to move the cow up and down.

So, the chicken and the egg were in bed, the chicken is sitting up, smoking a cigarette, and says “Well, I guess that answers THAT question!!!”

Where does a 200 ton elephant sit?

Anywhere he wants!

A young boy, about seven years old, was at the corner grocery picking out a box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over and trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do.

“No laundry” the boy said, “I’m going to wash my dog.”

“But you shouldn’t use this to wash your dog. It’s very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he’ll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him.”

But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer still tried to talk him out of washing his dog.

About a week later the boy was back in the store to buy some candy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing.

“Oh, he died,” the boy said.

The grocer, trying not to be an I-told-you-so, said he was sorry the dog died but added, “I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog.”

The boy replied, “I don’t think it was the detergent that killed him.”

“Oh, What was it then?” “I think it was the spin cycle!”