Encyclopedia of Humor

A blonde says to a brunette, ”Excuse me, but each time I sip my coffee, my eye seems to hurt.”

The brunette says, ”Well maybe you should take the spoon out of the cup.”

A blonde got a dent in her car and took it in to the repair shop. The repairman, noticing that the woman was a blonde, decided to have a wee bit of fun.

So he told her all she had to was take it home and blow in the tailpipe until the dent popped itself out.

After 15 minutes of this, the blonde’s blonde friend came over and asked what she was doing.

“I’m trying to pop out this dent, but it’s not really working.”

“Duh. You have to roll up the windows first!”

A blonde was having sharp pains in her side. The doctor examined her and said, ”You have acute appendicitis.”

The blond yelled at the doctor… ”I came here to get medical help, not get a stupid compliment!!”

In olden times, it is reported that sacrifices were made at the altar.

Since then, weddings have been held there, and times haven’t changed at all!

I remember back in 1995 i went over to my neighbors house. She was a blonde and for some reason she was mad at the world. She was in the bathroom and the door was locked. I said, “Come on, you know you don’t want to do this!” She said, “I damn well do wanna do this, nobody wants me alive anyways.” For some reason i actually beleived her and pushed through the door. She had a rope tied to her ankles. I asked “Aren’t you trying to hang yourself?”

“Yes, whats your point?”

“Well, usually when people hang themselves they tie the rope around their necks”

“Yeah well, I tried that, But then i couldnt breathe.”