Encyclopedia of Humor

The English language is not to be spoken.

You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person.

You must contact the police before entering the city in an automobile.

You may be convicted of a Class 4 felony offense, punishable by up to three years in state prison, for the crime of “eavesdropping” on your own conversation. -720 ILCS 5/14-2.

Chicago
It is illegal to give a dog whiskey.

In the Pullman area, it is illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while sitting on the curb.

Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.

Kites may not be flown within the city limits.

It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe’s neck.

Spitting is forbidden

It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.

Champaign
One may not pee in his neighbor’s mouth.

Cicero
Humming on public streets is prohibited on Sundays.

Crete
Cars may not be driven through the town.

Des Plaines
Wheelbarrows with For-Sale signs may not be chained to trees.

Eureka
A man with a moustache may not kiss a woman.

Evanston
It is illegal to go trick-or-treating on Halloween.

Bowling is forbidden.

It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains drawn, except in case of fire.

Fairfield
It is unlawful for “negroes” to be within county boundries from sundown to sunrise.

Freeport
It is illegal to expectorate from any second-story window.

Galesburg
There is a $1,000 dollar fine for beating rats with baseball bats.

Homer
It is against the law to use a slingshot unless your are a law enforcement officer.

Joliet
Town fathers, reflecting the pet peeve of hearing their town’s name mispronounced ‘Jolly-ETTE’ when all local folk know it’s pronounced ‘Joe-lee-ETTE’, made pronouncing it Jolly-ette a misdemeanor, punishable by a $5 fine.

Kenilworth
A rooster must step back three hundred feet from any residence if he wishes to crow. Hens that wish to cackle must step two hundred feet back from any residence.

Kirkland
Bees are not allowed to fly over the village or through any of Kriland’s streets.

Moline
Ice skating at the Riverside pond during the months of June and August is prohibited.

There is a ban on unnecessary repetitive driving on 23rd Avenue.

Morton Grove
You may not own a handgun

Normal
It is against the law to make faces at dogs.

Orland Prak
No pool tables are allowed in a public establishment, because it supports gambling.

Ottawa
Spitting on the sidewalk is a criminal offense.

Park Ridge
Trucks may only park inside closed garages.

Peoria
Basketball hoops may not be instaled on a driveway.

Zion
It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, or any other domesticated animals.

In Fairbanks it is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose.

While it is legal to shoot bears, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.

It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.

It is the state policy that emergencies are held to a minimum and are rarely found to exist.-Sec. 44.62.270. State policy.

Moose may not be viewed from an airplane.

January 16, 1993

In 1989, a Union Bridge, Md., high school permitted a female student, Tawana Hammond, 17, to try out for its football team under the pressure of a federal statute that bars school discrimination on the basis of gender.

On her first scrimmage, Tawana, a running back, was tackled and suffered massive internal injuries.

In October 1992, she filed a $1.5 million lawsuit against the county board of education for its alleged failure to tell her how dangerous football is.

Riding a merry-go-round on Sundays is considered a crime.

Illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.

You may not fish on a camel’s back.

Boise
Residents may not fish from a giraffe’s back.

Pocatello
A person may not be seen in public without a smile on their face.

A law passed in 1912 provided that “The carrying of concealed weapons is forbidden, unless some are exhibited to public view.”

Coins are not allowed to be placed in one’s ears.

All residents may be fined as a result of not owning a boat.

Honolulu
Within the limits of any public park, it is unlawful to annoy any bird. (SEC. 10-1.2)