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Sunday, December 13, 1992

In October, the Swallows Hotel in Gateshead, England, offered 11 chronic snorers a free night’s stay so they it could test how well soundproofed the rooms are. The hotel staff tape-recorded the sounds coming from the rooms and promised the loudest snorer a prize.

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You may not swear in front of women and children in the state of Michigan.

It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.

A woman isn’t allowed to cut her own hair without her husband’s permission.

Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.

There is a 10 cent bounty for each rat’s head brought into a town office.

Clawson
There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.

Detroit
Alligators may not be tied to fire hydrants.

It is illegal to let your pig run free in Detroit unless it has a ring in its nose. According to history and animal husbandry, it prevents them from “rooting” in the ground for their food.

Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited.

It is illegal for a man to scowl at his wife on Sunday.

Grand Haven
No person shall throw an abandoned hoop skirt into any street or on any sidewalk, under penalty of a five- dollar fine for each offense.

Harper Woods
It is illegal to paint sparrows to sell them as parakeets.

Kalamazoo
It is against the law to serenade your girlfriend.

Rochester
All bathing suits must have been inspected by the head of police.

Soo
Smoking while in bed is illegal.

Wayland
Anyone can keep their cow on Main Street downtown at a cost of 3 cents per day.

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Sunday, November 22, 1992

Researchers at Cornell University recently patented an artificial dog that would speed up the breeding of fleas for lab use.

Previously, the lab required 25 live, severely infected dogs to breed the 12,000 fleas per day needed in studies of humans’ and animals’ allergic reactions to fleas.

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The penalty for jumping off a building is death.

Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 P.M.

A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking “at a woman in that way.” A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a “pair of horse-blinders” wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.

A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket.

While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door.

A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline.

It is against the law to throw a ball at someone’s head for fun.

Carmel
A man can’t go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.

Greene
During a concert, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks.

New York
You may not smoke within 100 feet of the entrance to a public building.

Citizens may not greet each other by “putting one’s thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers”.

Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business.

It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing “body hugging clothing.”

Ocean City
It is illegal for men to go topless in the center of town.

It is illegal to eat in the street in residential neighborhoods, and the only beverage you can drink on the beach is water in a clear plastic bottle.

Staten Island
It is illegal for a father to call his son a “faggot” or “queer” in an effort to curb “girlie behavior.”

You may only water your lawn if the hose is held in your hand.

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December 18, 1992

Three maintenance workers in Alexandria, Ind., fixed a massive street-flooding problem in October when they pulled a 200-pound hairball from a manhole. Said one of the men, “We thought we had a goat.”

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