Encyclopedia of Humor

Fargo, North Dakota:

A candidate for sheriff has challenged his opponents to a shootout, calling it a test of a law officer’s ability to protect the public.

“Clearly, being the best shot doesn’t necessarily make you the best sheriff, but I think it proves a point,” Ken Schwab said Tuesday.

Schwab wants the four other candidates to meet him June 1 at a shooting range. Each will fire 24 rounds at targets to determine the best shot, Schwab said.

The challenge could be a problem for one candidate — a well-known local tax protester and convicted felon who’s not allowed to possess a firearm.

St. Paul, Minnesota:

For people with lots on their agenda, Minnesota Mining & Manufacturing Company creates 25-inch-by-30-inch Post-It Easel Pads.

Tokyo, Japan:

A bull bound for slaughter gave its handlers the slip Wednesday and escaped into Tokyo’s teeming streets.

The 1,300-pound bull, shipped in from southern Japan, thundered down the gangplank as soon as it was lowered, bolted past port police and headed for the wide open spaces.

More than 20 policeman chased the animal for 40 minutes through nearly three miles of city traffic before managing to herd it into the parking lot of a posh hotel. Waiting patrol cars formed a makeshift corral to avert another escape.

Police then roped the bull’s horns and tied it to a tree until the owner came to transport it.

Patterson, New Jersey:

When 60-year-old Al Asbaty returned to his car after shopping, he was startled to find that thousands of bees were building a hive inside his Oldsmobile.

Due to the sunny and warm weather, he had left the windows rolled down, allowing a queen bee to fly in, followed by about 20,000 of her most faithful servants.

Just as one of Asbaty’s relatives was about to spray the inside of the car with a can of insecticide, police bee expert Tom Fuscalo arrived and managed to coax the insects into an artificial hive.

Denny’s resturants are also open 24 hours a day. When they decided to close last Christmas (first time ever), they realized that a lot of doors did not have locks, most of those that did have locks, no one knew where to find the keys!