It is illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach.

It is considered an offense to check into a hotel under an assumed name.

Any cattle that crosses state roads must be fitted with a device to gather its feces.

You cannot sell the clothes you are wearing to pay off a gambling debt.

You may not run machinery on Sundays.

You may not tap your feet, nod your head, or in any way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant, or cafe.

On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up.

White Mountain Nat. Forest
If a person is caught raking the beaches, picking up litter, hauling away trash, building a bench for the park, or many other kind things without a permit, he/she may be fined $150 for ”maintaining the national forest without a permit”.

A man walks into a Silicon Valley pet store looking for a monkey. The storeowner points towards three identical looking monkeys in politically correct, animal-friendly natural mini-habitats.

“The one to the left costs $500,” says the storeowner.

“Why so much?” asks the customer.

“Because it can program in C,” answers the storeowner.

The customer inquires about the next monkey and is told that “That one costs $1500, because it knows Visual C++ and Object-Relational technology.”

The startled man then asks about the third monkey.

“That one costs $3000,” answers the storeowner.

“$3000!” exclaims the man. “What can that one do?”

To which the owner replies, “To be honest, I’ve never seen it do a single thing, but it calls itself a Consultant.”

The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, “I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we’re going to be three in this house instead of two.”

Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes.

He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, “I’m glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us.”

It is illegal to challenge someone to a duel, or accept a duel, even if it is never actually fought. Penalty: Imprisonment for one to seven years.

Riding a horse over any public highway for the purpose of racing, or testing the speed of the horse is illegal. Penalty: Maximum $20 fine and imprisonment for 10 days.

Exercising any labor, business, or work, or using any game, sport, play, or recreation, or causing any of the above to be done to or by your children, servants, or apprentices on the first day of the week (Sunday) results in a penalty of $5 for the first offense and $10 for the second.

It is illegal to coast downhill in your car with your transmission in neutral, or with the clutch disengaged.

Impersonating a town sealer, auctioneer, corder of wood, or a fence-viewer is against the law. Penalty: $20 to $100 fine.

It is illegal to place a windmill within twenty-five (25) rods of any traveled street or road.

It is considered an offense to throw pickle juice on a trolley.

Rhode Island recently applied to the US Government to make all the coastal waters of Rhode Island a “No Discharge Zone”. The ostensible purpose was to prohibit the discharge of sewage by boats into the state’s waters. However, discharge of raw sewage into the state waters was already illegal. What the “No Discharge Zone” actually did was make it illegal to discharge TREATED sewage from a boat into state waters. What now happens is that boats (whose treatment systems far outperform municipal sewage treatment plants) are now required to disable their sewage treatment systems, and carry their sewage to a shore-based facility, which then dumps the partially treated sewage back into Rhode Island’s coastal waters.

Professional sports, except ice polo and hockey, must obtain a license to play games on Sunday.

Any marriage where either of the parties is an idiot or lunatic is null and void. -SECTION 11-40-1

Newport
You cannot smoke a pipe after sunset.

Providence
There is not an appeals process for exemtion of property tax due to a disability or poverty.

It is illegal to wear transparent clothing.

You may not sell toothpaste and a toothbrush to the same customer on a Sunday.

West Warwick
It is illegal to use water on even-numbered days for the sole purpose of watering plants, gardens, or lawns. If you break this law there is a fine of $25-$100.

A young couple were on their honeymoon. The husband was sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub saying to himself, “Now how can I tell my wife that I’ve got really smelly feet and that my socks absolutely stink? I’ve managed to keep it from her while we were dating, but she’s bound to find out sooner or later that my feet stink. Now how do I tell her?”

Meanwhile, the wife was sitting in the bed saying to herself, “Now how do I tell my husband that I’ve got really bad breath? I’ve been very lucky to keep it from him while we were courting, but as soon as he’s lived with me for a week, he’s bound to find out. Now how do I tell him gently?”

The husband finally plucks up enough courage to tell his wife and so he walks into the bedroom. He walks over to the bed, climbs over to his wife, puts his arm around her neck, moves his face very close to hers and says, “Darling, I’ve a confession to make.”

And she says, “So have I, love.”

To which he replies, “Don’t tell me, you’ve eaten my socks.”