A blonde, brunette and a red-head were trapped on a island 20 miles from shore. The red-head started swimming and got tired after 2 miles and turned around and swam back. Then the brunette started to swim and after 7 miles of swimming she turned back. The blonde jumped in and swam 17 miles got tired and turned back.

Private Loyds was brought up before the unit CO for some offence.

“You can take your choice, private – one month’s restriction or twenty day’s pay,” said the officer.

“All right, sir,” said the bright soldier, “I’ll take the money.”

Sunday, November 29, 1992

Robert A. Chase, 45, was charged with threatening an 11-year-old boy with a knife in Madison, Wis. The boy was watching Chase play basketball with another adult when the opponent accused Chase of “traveling” (taking steps without dribbling the ball).

To seek an impartial opinion, Chase asked the boy, but the boy agreed that Chase had traveled. Chase then allegedly grabbed the boy, held a knife to his throat, and asked, “Now. Did I travel?”

As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, “I cannot die without telling you the truth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage.

All those nights when I told you I was working late, I was with other women. And not just one woman either, but I’ve slept with dozens of them.”

His wife looked at him calmly and said, “Why do you think I gave you the poison?”

A young attorney who had taken over his father’s practice rushed home elated one night.

“Dad, listen,” he shouted, “I?ve finally settled that old McKinney suit.”

“Settled it!” cried his astonished father. “Why, you idiot! We have been living off of that money for five years!”