Steve: Hello. Steve and Matt aren’t here right now, but if…

Matt: Steve, what are you doing?

Steve: I’m leaving a phone message since we aren’t here.

Matt: But you left the last one — it’s my turn.

Steve: No, I’m sure it’s my turn.

Matt: No, you’re wrong. It’s definitely my turn.

Steve: You fool, I know it’s… Wait… Matt… What are you doing with that frying pan? (BONK… THUD)

Matt: Steve is out right now, so please leave your name and number.

1: Hi, you’ve reached Bob and Faisal’s room.

2: (Background:) What are you doing?

1: I’m recording an answering machine message.

2: But we’re here right now.

1: But we might not be here later.

2: Oh. (To phone:) Leave a message.

1: Hey, would you get the phone?

2: I got the phone last time. You get the phone!

1: Well, I’m on the computer right now, so will you get it?

2: I’m in the bathroom, and besides, you’re closer anyway!

1: Nicole, you always pull this garbage when it’s your turn to get it!

2: Well, just let the answering machine get it then!

Whole family crowds around, including screaming babies and noisy pets; to the tune of “Frere Jacques”:

We’re not here now,
We’re not here now,
Don’t hang up,
Don’t hang up,
Leave your name and number,
Leave your name and number,
We’ll call back,
We’ll call back.

Hi!! You’ve reached Janet and Chris’s room. We’re not in right now. If this is our parents, we’re at the library studying. Yeah, yeah, that’s it, that’s the ticket. If this is John, Chris is out with the girls at the party. Yeah, that’s it. If this is any one else, we’re at a party and you’re not. Yeah, a party with the president. Yeah and the… Pope. Yeah that’s it.