Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit”:

Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,

No one’s here, no one’s home,

Leave a message, at the tone.

Don’t feel stupid, it’s no big fuss,

Leave a message, you can reach us.

“The Check is in the Mail” by Weird Al Yankovich:

Well hey how you doin’? Have a seat have a drink,

Boy it’s good to see you what can I say,

Oh sorry got to run we’ll get together again,

Say what was your name anyway?

Well we’re working on the problem –

We’ll get back to you soon,

Don’t try to call me I’ll be in a meeting every afternoon for a year, maybe longer, keep in touch, thanks for dropping by and have a nice day.

“Camptown Races”:

I can’t come to the telephone; doo-dah, doo-dah.

Leave your message when you hear the tone; oh, de doo-dah day.

Might be gone all night… Might be gone all day…

So leave a message when you hear the tone.

I’ll call you back someday…

“Winter Wonderland”:

Hear the ring, inside our home.

Once again, can’t get the phone.

So please be polite,

You know that it’s right,

And leave a message when you hear the tone.

Beethoven’s Fifth:

Nobody’s home.

Why did you phone?

Please leave your message here when you have heard the tone,

And we will call you back as soon as we get home.

Your message here,

After the tone,

Here is the tone… tone… BEEP