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Engineers Jokes


Engineers are considered and consider themselves as the highest form of life on Earth. They calculate everything in detail and seem to approach every problem in a very pragmatic manner.

If you refer to your spouse as “\woman at home.wife,”
If your favorite TV show is “Mr. Wizard” instead of “Baywatch,”
If when your family is expecting, you are more interested in the ultra-sound equipment than the test results,
If when someone asks “What’s new?” you answer “C over lambda,”
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The graduate with a Science degree asks, “Why does it work?”
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, “How does it work?”
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, “How much will it cost?”
The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, “Do you want fries with that?”

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How do you hunt elephants?
MATHEMATICIANS hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing out everything that is not an elephant, and catching one of whatever is left. Experienced mathematicians will attempt to prove the existence of at least one unique elephant before proceeding to step 1 as a subordinate exercise. Professors of mathematics will prove the existence of at least one unique elephant and then leave the detection and capture of an actual elephant as an exercise for their graduate students. Read More…

1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED – We are still pissing in the wind.
2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM – We just hired three kids fresh out of college.
3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION – We know who to blame. Read More…

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A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.” The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to his pocket. Read More…

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