master card proposal   Top Pick of the Week: Check out this hilarious master card proposal

MOST WANTED:
Valentine`s Day Jokes
Dumb People Jokes
Viral Videos
Santa Jokes
Funny Pictures
Economy Jokes
Relationship Jokes
Funny Lists
Political Jokes
Motivational Posters
Thanksgiving Jokes
Funniest Jokes
Funny eRepublik
Pranks
Photo of the day

Employers Jokes


Bill and Boris are taking a break from a long summit, Boris says to Bill, -Bill, you know, I have a big problem I don’t know what to do about. I have a hundred bodyguards and one of them is a traitor. I don’t know which one. -Not a big deal Boris, I’m stuck with a hundred economists I have to listen to all the time before any policy decision, and only one tells the truth but it’s never the same one.

If you liked this, you might also like: master card proposal

Posted in: Economy Jokes, Employers Jokes No Comments.

We have 2 classes of forecasters: Those who don’t know . . . and those who don’t know they don’t know.
- John Kenneth Galbraith

Q: Why did God create economists?
A: In order to make weather forecasters look good.

An Economist is someone who didn’t have enough personality to become an accountant.

The First Law of Economists: For every economist, there exists an equal and opposite economist.

The Second Law of Economists: They’re both wrong.

Q: How many Chicago School economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it.

Q: How many mainstream economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two, one to change the bulb and one to assume the existence of ladders.

Q: How many conservative economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.
A2: None. If it really needed changing, market forces would have caused it to happen.
A3: None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.

Q: How many B-school doctoral students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: I’m writing my dissertation on that topic; I should have an answer for you in about 5 years.

If you liked this, you might also like: master card proposal

Posted in: Economy Jokes, Employers Jokes No Comments.

An economist is someone who doesn’t know what he’s talking about – and make you feel it’s your fault.

The definition of “waste”: a busload of economists plunging over a precipice with three of the seats unoccupied.

A woman hears from her doctor that she has only half a year to live. The doctor advises her to marry an economist and to live in South Dakota. The woman asks: will this cure my illness? Answer of the doctor: No, but the half year will seem pretty long.

An economist is someone who gets rich explaining others why they are poor.

“I’m thinking of leaving my husband,” complained the economist’s wife.

“All he ever does is stand at the end of the bed and tell me how good things are going to be.”

Tariff — A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.

Economy — Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.

“I’m a walking economy,” a man was overheard to say.
“My hairline’s in recession, my waist is a victim of inflation, and together they’re putting me in a deep depression.”

Q: Why is advice so cheap?
A: Because supply always exceeds demand.

If you liked this, you might also like: master card proposal

Posted in: Economy Jokes, Employers Jokes No Comments.

An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy. An econometrician is a trained professional paid to use computers to guess wrong about the economy.

Talk is cheap. Supply exceeds Demand. Bentley’s second Law of Economics: The only thing more dangerous than an economist is an amateur economist!

Berta’s Fundamental Law of Economic Rents.. “The only thing more dangerous than an amateur economist is a professional economist.”

An economic forecaster was known to have an horseshoe prominently displayed above the door frame of his office. Asked what it was for, he replied that it was a good luck charm that helped his forecasts. But do you believe in that superstition? he was asked, and he said, “Of course not!” But then why do you keep it? “Well,” he said, “it works whether you believe in it or not.”

A mathematical economist came sailing by on an ice boat, and pulled to the shore beside the surf-fishing economist to scoff. “You’ll never catch any fish that way,” said the mathematical economist. “Jump on my ice-boat and we’ll go trawling.”

Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third econometrician didn’t fire, but shouted in triumph, “We got it! We got it!”

A civil engineer, a chemist and an economist are traveling in the countryside. Weary, they stop at a small country inn. “I only have two rooms, so one of you will have to sleep in the barn,” the innkeeper says. The civil engineer volunteers to sleep in the barn, goes outside, and the others go to bed. In a short time they’re awakened by a knock. It’s the engineer, who says, “There’s a cow in that barn. I’m a Hindu, and it would offend my beliefs to sleep next to a sacred animal.” The chemist says that, OK, he’ll sleep in the barn. The others go back to bed, but soon are awakened by another knock. It’s the chemist who says, “There’s a pig in that barn. I’m Jewish, and cannot sleep next to an unclean animal.” So the economist is sent to the barn. It’s getting late, the others are very tired and soon fall asleep. But they’re awakened by an even louder knocking. They open the door and are surprised by what they see: It’s the cow and the pig!

A wealthy labor economist had an urge to have grandchildren. He had two daughters and two sons and none of them had gratified his desire for a grandchild. At the annual family gathering on Thanksgiving Day, he chided them gently to bless his old age with their progeny. “But I haven’t given up hope,” he said, “Yesterday I went to the bank and set up a one hundred thousand dollar trust fund to be given to the first grandchild that I have. Now we will all bow our heads while I say a prayer of thanks.” When he looked up, he and his wife were the only ones at the table.

It’s not easy being an economist. How would you like to go through life pretending you knew what M1 was all about?

If you liked this, you might also like: master card proposal

Posted in: Economy Jokes, Employers Jokes No Comments.

Entry level position:
You’ll be making minimum wage.
Entry level position in an up-and-coming company:
You’ll be making minimum wage; we’ll be bankrupt in a year.
Profit sharing plan:
Once it’s shared between the higher-ups, there won’t be a profit.
Read More…

If you liked this, you might also like: master card proposal

Posted in: Employers Jokes, Funny Lists, Jobs Jokes No Comments.