A lawyer, a doctor, and a redneck were driving through the desert when they suddenly ran out of gas. They all decided to start walking to the nearest town (which they had passed 50 miles back) to get some help.

A rancher was sitting on his front porch that evening when he saw the lawyer top the horizon and walk toward him. The rancher noticed that the lawyer was carrying a glass of water, so when he was within hearing distance, the rancher said, “Hi there…what are you doing carrying a glass of water through the desert?”

The lawyer explained his predicament and explained that since he had a long way to go, he might get thirsty, so that’s why he was carrying the water.

A little while later the rancher noticed the doctor walking toward him with a loaf of bread in his hand. “What are you doing?” asked the rancher again.

As before, the doctor explained the situation and said that since he had a long way to go, he might get hungry and that’s why he had the bread.

Finally the redneck appeared, dragging a car door through the sand. More curious than ever, the rancher asked, “Hey, why are you dragging that car door?”

“Well,” said the redneck, “I have a long way to go, so if it gets too hot, I’ll roll down the window.”

A guy who has a stuttering problem goes in to his doctor and says “Ex-ex-ex-cu-cu-se m-m-me d-d-oc but I I I have th-th-this st-st-stuttering problem and I I I was wo-wondering if you c-c-c-could help m-m-m-me.”

“Well take off your clothes and get into this gown and let me check you over.” The guy gets into the gown and the doc begins his check-up.”

The doctor is quite surprised: “I see what the problem is your penis is so large that it’s pulling on you abdominal muscles which in turn is causing a strain on your vocal chords.”

“W-w-w-well c-c-can you h-h-help m-m-me?”

“Sure I can but we’ll need to cut off about 8 inches”

“I-I-I-I can’t t-t-t-take this an-any more do it.”

Six months later the guy goes back to the doc. “Well doc I must say that the operation was a great success but my sex life really sucks and I would like my operation reversed. Please put back what you took off”.

The doc replies “F-f-f-f-f-fuck Off!”

This woman goes into a dentist’s office, after he is through examining her he says: “I am sorry to tell you this, but I am going to have to drill a tooth.”

The woman then says: “Ooooohhhh, the pain is so awful I’d rather have a baby!”

To which the dentist replies, “Make up your mind lady, I’ll have to adjust the chair!

At a medical convention, a male doctor and a female doctor start eyeing each other. The male doctor asks her to dinner and she accepts. As they sit down at the restaurant, she excuses herself to go and wash her hands.

After dinner, one thing leads to another and they end up in her hotel bedroom. Just as things get hot, the female doctor interrupts and says she has to go and wash her hands. Once she comes back they go for it.

After the intimate session, she gets up and says she is going to wash her hands. As she comes back the male doctor says, “I bet you are a surgeon”. She confirms and asks how he knew.

“Easy, you’re always washing your hands.”

She then says, “I bet you’re an anesthesiologist.”

Male doctor: “Wow, how did you guess?”

Female doctor: “I didn’t feel a thing!”

A man was visiting his wife in hospital where she has been in a coma for several years. On this visit he decides to rub her left breast instead of just talking to her. On doing this she lets out a sigh.

The man runs out and tells the doctor who says this is a good sign and suggests he should try rubbing her right breast to see if there is any reaction. The man goes in and rubs her right breast and this brings a moan from her.

The doctor suggests the man should go in and try oral sex, saying he will wait outside as it is a personal act and he doesn’t want the man to be embarrassed.

The man goes in then comes out about five minutes later, white as a sheet and tells the doctor his wife is dead.

The doctor asks what happen to which the man replies: “She choked.”