After spending a night at a hotel with a prostitute, the politician took $300 out of his wallet and placed it on the dressing table.

“Thanks,” she said. “But I only charge $20.”

“Twenty bucks for the entire night?” the amazed politician replied. “You can’t make a living on that.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” the whore replied. “I do a little blackmail on the side!”

During a neighborhood party, Joe got into an argument with his neighbor, about presidential politics. Finally, the neighbor asked me why Joe was such a dedicated Republican.

Joe told him that his father and grandfather were both Republicans and he was carrying on the family tradition.

“That’s it?” said the exasperated neighbor. “What if your father and

grandfather had been horse thieves?”

“Well…” Joe replied, “I suppose then I’d be a Democrat like you.”

After spending a night at a hotel with a prostitute, the

politician took $300 out of his wallet and placed it on the

dressing table.

“Thanks,” she said. “But I only charge $20.”

“Twenty bucks for the entire night?” the amazed politician replied.

“You can’t make a living on that.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” the whore replied. “I do a little blackmail on

the side!”

A Marine colonel on his way home from work at the Pentagon came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, “Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing’s even moving.”

He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars so he rolls down his window and asks, “Excuse me, Officer, what’s the hold up?”

The Officer replies, “The President is just so depressed about the Impeachment thing he stopped his motorcade in the middle of the Beltway and he’s threatening to douse himself in gasoline and set himself on fire. He says his family hates him and he doesn’t have the $33.5 million he owes his lawyers. I’m walking around taking up a collection for him.”

“Oh really? How much have you collected so far?”

“So far only about three hundred gallons, but I’ve got a lot of folks still siphoning!”

Bill and Hillary Clinton went out to dinner and when the waiter came to take their order, he asked Hillary how she wanted her steak, she replied, “medium.”

Then the waiter said, “how about your vegetable?” Hillary replied, “Oh, he can order for himself.”