At least now, Mr. Clinton, we understand why mattresses are discounted
every Presidents Day.

Janet Reno and Hilary Clinton were engaging in typical girl talk. Hilary told Janet how lucky she was not having men make unwanted advances towards her, and that she never knew where Bill’s pecker was the night before. Janet Reno remarked that just because she wasn’t beautiful didn’t mean that men didn’t make passes at her.

So Hillary asked Janet how she warded off these unwanted sexual advances and Janet told her that whenever a man made an unwanted pass at her, she mustered up the loudest, stinkiest fart she could, and that it worked every time.

Hilary thought this was a great idea and decided to use it the next time Bill got frisky.

That night, Bill was in bed before Hilary. As soon as she slipped between the covers, Bill rolled over and Hilary knew he wanted some action. She had been saving her farts all day and let out the loudest, crudest fart she could.

Bill got up on one elbow and said, “Janet, that you?”

Sources close to President Clinton say he is proposing a new
national anthem for the United States, “Yank my Dandy Doodle!”

A truck driver was pulled over by a State Trooper. The patrolman told him to get out of the truck, and noticed that the driver appeared to be putting something in his mouth as he stepped out of the cab. Figuring that the driver was putting away his pep pills, the patrolman asked “Did I just see you swallow something?”"Yep, that was my birth control pill,” said the driver.

“Birth control pill?” asked the patrolman.

“Yep, when I saw your light, I knew I was screwed.”

Castro was addressing a large audience in Cuba, and he began, “They accuse me of intervening in Angola…” and a man going through the audience called out, “Peanuts! Popcorn!”

Castro went on: “They say I’m intervening in Mozambique…” and the same loud voice shouted, “Peanuts! Popcorn!

Castro continued: “They say I’m intervening in Nicaragua…” and the voice yelled again, “Peanuts! Popcorn!”

By this time Castro was boiling mad and he sputtered, “Bring that man who is shouting ‘Peanuts! Popcorn!’ to me, and I’ll kick him all the way to Miami.”

And everybody in the audience started shouting, “Peanuts! Popcorn!”