Once upon a time, there was a prince who, through no fault of his own, was cast under a spell by an evil witch. The curse was that the prince could speak only one word each year. However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, the following year he was allowed to speak two words. (This was before the time of letter writing or sign language.)

One day, he met a beautiful princess (ruby lips, golden hair, sapphire eyes) and fell madly in love with her. With the greatest difficulty, he refrained from speaking for 2 whole years so that he could look at her and say, “My darling.” But at the end of these 2 years, he wished to tell her that he loved her. So he waited 3 more years without speaking, bringing the total number of silent years to 5.

At the end of these 5 years, he realized that he had to ask her to marry him. So he waited another 4 years without speaking.

Finally, as the 9th year of silence ended, his joy knew no bounds. Leading the lovely princess to the most secluded and romantic place in that beautiful royal garden, the prince heaped a hundred red roses on her lap, knelt before her, and taking her hand in his, said, “My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?”

And the princess tucked a strand of golden hair behind her dainty ear, opened her sapphire eyes in wonder, and parting her ruby lips, said, “Pardon?”

A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note. “I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park at 7 AM.” Signed, “The Blonde”.

She pinned the note inside the little boy’s jacket and told him to go straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed.

Inside the bag was the following note. “Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another.”

A blonde and a brunette are on opposite sides of a river. The brunette wants to get across.

She yells across to the blonde, “Hey, how do I get to the other side?”

The blonde shakes her head and yells back – “People like you really piss me off. You ARE on the other side!”

A blonde and brunette were watching the 6 o’clock news. The news was about a man about ready to jump off a bridge.

The brunette turns to the blonde and says, ” I bet you $50 the man is going to jump.”The blonde replies, “Okay you’re on.” Sure enough, the man jumps, and the blonde gives the brunette $50.

The brunette says, “I can’t accept this money. I watched the 5 o’clock news and saw the man jump then.” “No, you have to take it,” says the blonde.

“I watched the 5 o’clock news too, but I didn’t think he would do it again.”

Legend has it that there is a bar in New York where, in the ladies room, there is a very special mirror. If one stands in front of the mirror and tells the truth, one is granted a wish. However, if one tells a lie… Poof. They are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again.

Sooooo, a redhead of questionable looks walks into the ladies room, stands before the mirror and says, “I think I’m the most beautiful woman in the world.” Poof. The mirror swallows her.

Next, a rather large brunette stands before the mirror and says, “I think I’m the sexiest woman alive.” Poof. The mirror swallows her.

Then, an absolutely gorgeous blonde comes in and stands before the mirror and says, “I think…” Poof.