Entry level position:
You’ll be making minimum wage.
Entry level position in an up-and-coming company:
You’ll be making minimum wage; we’ll be bankrupt in a year.
Profit sharing plan:
Once it’s shared between the higher-ups, there won’t be a profit.
Read More…

I know how to deal with stressful situations:
I’m usually on Prozac. When I’m not, I take lots of cigarette and coffee breaks.
I seek a job that will draw upon my strong communication & organizational skills:
I talk too much and like to tell other people what to do.
I’m extremely adept at all manner of office organization:
I’ve used Microsoft Office.
Read More…

Here are the best love songs of all times – according to “The Guardian”.
Enjoy.
(and NO, we are NOT getting SOFT)

10. The Police: Every Breath You Take

Sting and co prove that stalking is a fit subject for pop. Paranoid and slightly chilling, avoid socialising with couples who have chosen this to be ‘their song’, as it will probably end in tears at the very least.

9. Eric Clapton: Wonderful Tonight
The leisurely guitar licks and drowsy vocals disguise the fact that the lyrics are simply an account of a rather boring evening in Eric’s life. He watches his other half brush her hair, they go to a party, he gets a headache, gives her the car keys and they go home. Who said romance was dead?

Read More…

14. “Well, it depends on your definition of ‘father’, Luke.”

13. “Who knew the Jedi Mind Trick could work on 250 million people all at once?”

12. “I *absolutely* support the use of droids in the military… Okay, now I don’t.”

Read More…

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.
–Frank Sinatra

The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk, they’re sober.
–William Butler Yeats

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
–Ernest Hemingway
Read More…