A computer is a fun box (note derivation from the original Portuguese “Computador”) filled with unicorns and goblins, happy magical super magic, rainbows, wart toads computer games and brazillions and brazillions (note that Portuguese is spoken in Brazil by the Brazillions) of funographic images and videos that can do simple things like milking a cat, mathematical operations (not real ones though, as these are typically carried out by armies of human slaves, in large facilities called ‘schools’) and compose essays.
It’s other purposes include destruction of mankind, giving Bill Gates reasons to get filthy rich, and whacking your someone in the head(Yes!!!). It has been known to drive people up the wall while using it, which scientists think will lead to gay hockey players and several species of flying cow. It has been likened unto a potent sled dog that sucks the user into habitual addictive behaviors.
If you have fatigued your computer, it will start to moan in a rather bothering fashion. If this does happen you should get off as fast as possible, as not to get that magic juice on you. Magic juice has been known to cause extreme horniness for sharp objects.
The following is an excerpt from the Wall Street Journal by Jim Carlton.
This was forwarded by P. Wyatt .
1. Compaq is considering changing the command “Press Any Key,” “Press Return Key” because of the flood of calls asking where the “Any” key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that Read More…
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Bill Gates dies and goes to hell.
Satan greets him: “Welcome Mr. Gates, we’ve been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You’ve been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you’ve got me in a good mood, I’ll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you’ll be locked up forever.”
Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving lions. Read More…
Scientists were preparing an experiment to ask the ultimate question.
They had worked for months gathering one each of every computer that was built. Finally the big day was at hand. All the computers were linked together. They asked the question, “IS THERE A GOD?”
Suddenly there was a loud crash, and in a brilliant explosion of silicon and plastic the computers fused into what appeared to the scientists to be one large computer in place of the many smaller ones.
One of the scientists raced to the printer as it finally output its answer. “There is now”, read the printout.
